At War With Myself

Chapter 6

“Well look who’s back,” she said. “Looks like she was too messed up for them to fix.” A few people laughed, but all eyes were on me. Mrs. Hawk was in the office; Of course, when I needed her most she wasn’t even here. As hard as it was not standing up and pushing her into a desk, I turned my head and started doodling in my notebook. At rehab they taught me to control my anger, not to express hatred on myself or anyone else, and the way we found that worked for me was doodling. “What a wimp; I bet she can’t throw a punch so that’s why she’s ignoring me. Baby.” Before I knew it, the entire classroom was chanting.

“Ba-by, ba-by, ba-by!” I felt like crap. They were so mean, like why aren’t they happy like my teachers that I’ve changed and I’m not the same, depressed girl as I was before. They chanted for a good 10 minutes, I wish I had a gun so I could pull the trigger on all of them and then myself; I hated my school so much. I haven’t even been in school for a day and I was already having suicide thoughts again. Finally Mrs. Hawk walked back in with a stack of papers and a confused look on her face.

“Carmen when did you get here?” She asked. Out of all the teachers, she was pretty good with noticing people coming in late.

“Mrs. Hawk I’ve been here the entire time, earlier I was in the bathroom; When I walked in I saw everyone laughing and chanting at Sarah so I was sitting next to her and trying to get them to stop; I feel bad for her, no one really likes her.” If Carmen could do anything well besides being a jerk, she could tell a really good lie. Mrs. Hawk turned and gave me a funny look, I just nodded.

“Ok then…. So class, would anyone like to inform Sarah on what we’ve been learning while she was gone?” Carmen was the first to raise her hand. “Yes, Carmen.”

“We learned about our former presidents and how they did in office; good things they did, bad things, scandals, and of corse, that you went loopy and we’re so pathetic you had to ‘get help’ when really you were probably out partying and drinking yourself to an  addiction because you’re worthless and you know it.” Ok, she didn’t actually say that last part but later in class she passed me a note when Mrs. Hawk wasn’t looking. It read:

“Welcome back. Did you have fun? Did you miss me? Haha well I’m still here, and I know everything.

How’s that vodka taste? Yeah, don’t try to lie. We all know it’s vodka in your water bottle; Can’t handle the pressure? You haven’t even been here a day and you’re already trying to drink your sorrows away…. Pathetic… I always knew you were…..

P.s. If you tell anyone about this letter you will be sorry

Good to have you back ;) xoxo, C”

My life was a living hell. I turned around and saw her grinning, I swear she’s got to be part witch or something, cause she’s evil. I turned back around, wanted to take another sip, but I was stopped by a hand throwing away my water bottle.