Delirium

08

  I followed Anya into the living room and sat down on the couch with her.
"I hate these things." sighed Anya
I gave her a small smile "It is'nt that bad."
"I have a migraine."
"Hey, there's free food and drinks."
"Food." Anya said in response
"Fooood."
"FoOoOod"
"FOOD" I said in a scratchy voice causing us both to giggle
"I'm glad you came."
"I wouldnt abandon you!" I said over dramatically
"You didn't even know about this until I told you today-and your aunt practically forced you to come" she pointed out
"Eh." I sighed "When is the actual dinner starting and this whole..mingle and talk thing over?" I asked eyeing everyone suspiciously
"In like an hour."
"Kill me." I groaned
"I don't have a weapon" she answered, sticking her tongue at me in the process
"Whatever. Do you know anyone here?"
Anya shrugged glancing the people around us.
"Yeah, some of them. Mostly businessmen and politicians. All of them are old, self satisfied, fat cats."
"Such kind words."
"I know, sometimes I don't understand how nice I am. I was born that way."
"Oh, yeah. Totally. Your kindness sometimes overwhelms me."
"That's understandable."
"I'm bored." I declared
"And I need to pee."
"You want me to come with you?" I asked?
"Yes please." she said shyly
"Alright."
Anya, Jane and I have always done this. While one of us was in the restroom another of us would wait outside. For some odd reason it made us feel safer.
I stood outside the door as Anya stepped in, promising she wouldn't be long.
"Andy?"
I turned to look at who had called for me, but I already knew who it was.
I could recognize his voice anywhere.
"Oliver?"
Oliver stood only a few feet away, waving at me with his left hand since his right hand was occupied with a glass of white wine.
"I didn't expect to see you here." he said his smile growing the closer he walked towards me
"I came with Anya." I said barely containing my joy to see him
"Well that great! I'm glad you came. How's the party so far?"
"Honestly a bit boring. I don't really know anyone apart from Anya so..." I trailed off
"Yeah that makes sense." He chuckled
"So are you a family friend or a business friend?" I asked trying to concentrate on something other than his bright eyes
"What do you mean?" he asked
"Are you-"
"Oliver! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!" called someone from behind us
I turned around to see one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen.
She was blonde, with ice blue eyes. She was average height and had a hourglass figure-which her pink dress completely showed off.
She strode over to us merrily.
"I didn't know you were looking for me." said Oliver
But his voice was different...it was deeper and and suddenly toneless. Emotionless.
His face seems stiff-except his eyes that still sparkle.
She stands next to him, her smile nearly blinding.
"Of course I was, that dinner is going to be served soon." she declared happily
"I see." he nodded
She turned to me as if barely noticing that I existed.
"Oh hello. Who are you?" she asked and I could tell her sweet voice was quite false
"Um I'm Andy." I said my mind speeding up...was she? Was he...were they...?
"A patient of mine." said Oliver calmly
The word patient felt like a dagger to my heart. A word that seemed designed to hurt me...and yet what hurt most was it's truth. I was only his patient. A silly girl that had crashed while ridding her bicycle and was now under his care. A girl that he would one day forget after years of being a doctor and healing others. I was a patient. And nothing more. My eyes felt like they were burning.
She stretched out her hand to me "It's lovely too meet you, I'm Merrin. Oliver's fiancee."
The world began to spin. My heart cracked in a million pieces. I wanted to slap her hand away. I wanted to yell at her and throw things on the ground. To yell out in anger.
I guess I took to long because Merrin lowered her hand. And Oliver frowned.
"Andy are you alright? You look pale..." he said slowly
I didn't want to open my mouth. I was too scared. If I opened my mouth I didn't know what I would say.
"Maybe you should take her to the guest room." said Merrin
"Yeah. Andy follow me." He said motioning me to follow him
"Anya-she's in the bathroom" I managed
"Merrin, can you tell her friend that I took Andy to the guest room when she comes out."
Merrin nodded her smile now gone.
It brought me a small sense of relief to get her to stop fucking smiling. Her smile bugged me. It was as if everything in the world was perfect. But it's not. It's fucking far from perfect. I fucking hate life. I hate her. I hate him. I hate myself. I hate hate hate hate.


Why do I feel this way?