Delirium

09

  Merrin. Just her name makes me want to puke. I can't believe she is Oliver's future wife...I can't believe he never mentioned her. She is after all his the future mother of his children...but then again he is cured and talking so much about her might have lead some to believe that he loved her. Suddenly it hit me. He doesn't love her. And he never will. This brought a smile to my lips. Perhaps I shouldn't think about it in that light but...I couldn't help myself.
"Andy are you alright?" asked Oliver from the other side of the room, he was fetching me some water.
He had brought me to one of the guestrooms. It was small and uncomfortably white. How do you keep a room so clean?
"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine." I mumbled
"Do you know what happened?" he asked as he handed me a glass of water;
My stomach turned into a knot when my hand touched mine.
I took the cup "Well you're the one studying to become a Doctor."
Oliver frowned "Andy you haven't been yourself lately, I'm worried?"
"Yeah well I'm fine. Can we go back to the party now?"
"I'm not sure that's a good idea, you went pale and you were shaking."
"I was just upset."
"Upset? Over what?"
"Nothing."
"Andy, please tell me." Oliver pleaded as he took my hands in mine
"Why didn't you tell me you are getting married?"
"W-what?"
"Why didn't you tell me you were getting married? Or anything about this-Merrin...I feel like I don't know anything about you."
"Andy, I didn't...I don't. I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you about Merrin, I didn't think it was important."
"Why wouldn't it be? I feel like I don't know you....Like..."
"Like what?"
"Nothing."
He took a deep breathe "Alright. What do you want to know?"
"Wait what?"
"Ask me anything you want, and I'll be truthful-I swear." he responded seriously
I blinked in shock before getting slightly exited.
"Anything?" I asked in a mocking tone
He smiled briefly "Yes, now ask before I regret this."
"Ok, how do you feel about Merrin?"
Oliver bit his lip "Nothing really. She feels fake, like a bad imitation f who she really is. I can't explain it..."
"Ok...Does it hurt?"
"What hurts?"
"The cure." I reached out to touch the three dots on his neck.
It was odd and dangerous thing for me to do. But I did it with out thinking. His neck was softer than I expected and the scars were like three small bumps. I traced them a few times with the tip of my fingers, my mind completely empty.
"Yes."
"Huh?"
"It did hurt."
I turned to face him, my right hand still on his neck.
My breath hitched when I realized how close we were. A strong feeling I've never had before formed at the center of my stomach and seemed to be spreading to the rest of my body. My limbs were going weak, my hear was pounding. Maybe I was sick? Maybe I had some kind of flu?
Slowly, as if not to scare me, Oliver raised his left hand and cupped my cheek. His touched nearly made me jump but I stayed still, my face burning. What was going on? What was I doing? What was Oliver doing? What am I feeling? What is this?
"Mandalyn." he said softly, his voice like golden honey.
I love how my name sounded when he said it. I-wait. L-loved?
I pulled back, stood up, and moved far away from him. My heart was beating faster than ever. My head felt heavy. Love. Love! LOVE. That disgusting word. The word that destroys life itself. An illness that I have feared all my life. It all makes so much sense. I was sick. That's why I've been acting so strangely lately...the illness was ripping me apart from the inside. How long have I been infected? How long until I died? Or others found out? I'd be cured immediately.... You aren't suppose to be cured before turning 18, it never works out right...
"Oh go oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god no no no no no no please no." I began to hyperventilate, the room was spinning. Images of me on a metal table in some lab, screaming out in pain flooded my head.
"Andy whats wrong." Oliver sprang from the bed and made his way to me.
I pulled back.
"No, please." I whimpered
"Andy what happened? What's wrong?"
"I-I c-can't-t." I stuttered the tears finally streaming down my cheeks
Oliver pulled me into his arms. At first I pulled back, fear consuming me. But then, I gave up. I was too tired...too sad...too weak
I grabbed and pulled onto his shirt, hiding and crying into his chest.
"It's going to be ok, Andy." he whispered in my ear
"No, you don't understand." I cried
"Then help me." he pleaded
"I-I think I'm sick."
"What do you mean? Andy whats wrong? I can't help you if you dont let me!"
"I think I love you!" I blurted out.
"You love me?" Oliver asked surprised
"Yes....don't you see...this is terrible."
Oliver cupped my cheek again and before I knew what was happening-our lips met.