Delirium

01

"Mandalyn"
I winced turning to my aunt. She never said my name-not my real name. She always called me Andy like everyone else. She only called me Mandalyn when it was something important.
"Yes Aunt Lucia?"
"I want you to come home early from Jane's house. There was rumor of a raid tonight and I don't want you outside. Do you understand?"
"Yes aunt Lucia" I nodded quietly
With that Aunt Lucia waved me off. No wonder she called me by my name. Raids were nothing to joke about. Once in a while, raids would occur. They were nights in which all citizens' rights 'don't count', this way the officers may investigate freely if you were a sympathizer (a person who is against the government that is helping the Invalids). Most of the times the raids can get aggressive, and out of hand. Sometimes-although rare-can lead to deaths ("minorities for the greater good" says my aunt.)
I stomp out the door and grip tightly to my backpack. My two cousins are already waiting for me. I take a deep breath, just like the doctor told me to do when I start feeling that nervous feeling in my hands. I often have anxiety attacks. I still remember being eight and going to the doctor-the room feeling small and compressed. The air smelling of cold acidic medicines. The doctor; a tall thin man told my aunt that I had anxiety attacks and that it had to do with emotions. I remember the fear and disgust ripping through my aunts face
"Is she sick?! W-with love?"
"No" he said calmly "Do not worry madam. Mandalyn is not contaiged with Amor deliria nervosa. It is simply the trace that her parents left, the sickness they carried with them."
My parents had in a way left me with a 'scar' as my aunt called it.
"Are you ready or not? I don't want to be late to school because you are having one of your little moments." the snobby voice of my cousin Reyna woke me from my thoughts.
I turned to her and her sister. I have two cousins; twins. Both girls, which makes it easy to live at home. Reyna and Natalie. They couldn't be more different, even if they wanted to. Reyna hates me; and she makes sure to let me know. She thinks that I'm a waste of time-a mistake-an error. She believes me to be to childish and weak for life...this coming from a 9 year old. Reyna is tall for her age, she's thin-I'm guessing because she does so many laps around her school for exercise. How she can run 7 miles without a break I have no idea...I can't go one mile without falling on the floor panting for air. She's cold, blunt, and my aunt's favorite.
Then there's my favorite. Natalie. Natalie isn't much of a sports person like her sister, no. Natalie prefers music. And she's good too. She can hit any note and play any instrument you give her. She's shy and much more quieter then her sister. Natalie is also thin, but her body isn't square, it radiates health and youth. Not strength and indifference.
"Well?" Reyna pressed her lips and raised her eyebrow irritated.
"Reyna don't be harsh-you know she is sensible." said Natalie quietly trying to defend me
Reyna rolled her eyes and huffed a few hairs out of her face.
I swallowed hard an insult "I'm fine. Lets go or you'll be late to school and I'll have to explain to Miss Ranoi again."
Reyna flipped her hair and walked away. Natalie gave me a small smile before trotting off after her sister. The three of us walked down the gray road to their school. I kept my head down as we neared Oak Grove Elementary and Middle School for Girls. I hated this school-I was bullied most of my time here. My teachers didn't help-they hated me too. The girls walked into the tall building (the front office). A brief smile played on my lips as I remembered the faithful day I had gotten my third detention. That's the day my friends and I promised to stick together and kick the shit out of anyone who hurt one of us. With that happy thought I walked silently to my school. University Preparatory High School for Girls. Long name huh? don't ask me I didn't name it-Miss Blantly named it. She was the founder of our school. I don't know her because she died around 5 years ago, but I've always felt unsettled by her painting that hangs in every classroom. Her cold eagle eyes always watching. Her lips closed in and eternal smirk. Yep I am definitely happy I never got to meet that woman.

"What do you want?"
"Um...I need a tardy slip?"
"Is that a question or an answer?"
"I-an answer ma'am" I said trying to straighten up.
She pursed her lips, raised her eyes brows, nodded and ripped a pink paper out of a draw. She readied her emerald green pen to fill in the form like she has done so many times before.
"Name?" she asked, even thought she's asked me this questions around 100 times
"Mandalyn Crane"
"Grade?"
"12th"
"Teacher?"
"Mrs. Eukraylic."
"Reason for tardy?"
"Anxiety attack."
"Again?"
"Yeah."
She gave a deep sighed, shook her head and handed me the slip "Don't worry Mandalyn, everything will get better after the cure."
"I know."I mumbled taking the slip. That was the promise of the cure. That everything would get better.

Mrs. Eukraylic snatched the slip from my hand and pointed with her bony finger to my desk.Quietly I made my way to my seat. 4th in the front row. My friends sent me sympathetic looks before Mrs. Eukraytic told us to bring out our note books. Note time. In other words 'time to kill my hands with a pencil because our teacher likes making us take notes that we don't even use int the bloody test.'

2 agonizing hours later, break!

I stretched out of my seat and smiled at Jane and Anya. We packed up our stuff and made our way to the track. No we don't like exercise. But the track was the best place to talk, there were hardly ever people there. So naturally it was our favorite place to hang out.
"Did you have another attack?" asked Anya
I looked around making sure no one was near ear shot. When I was sure I turned to Jane and Anya "Yes...but it's not why I was late..it's what caused it."
"What happened?" asked Jane inching closer. She didn't take my shoulder or touch me-even if we're girls that's still seen as something wrong in our society. You don't hug your friends-you don't really touch anyone ever. You could get infected.
"Well...I had a dream. My parents-again."
"Oh"Anya nodded understandingly. I've had many nightmares and dreams that involved my parents.
"That's it?" frowned Jane, as if this was old news and she wanted to hear something a bit newer.
"No..."I bit my lip "There was someone else, I've never seen him in my dreams before."
Both Anya's and Jane's jaw dropped. I know what I had said was terrible. I had dreamed of a boy.
"What did he do?" pressed Jane, her voice a note higher
"Nothing. He was just laughing and waving at me...but when I focus into his face I couldn't see it well. Like a camera trying to focus on a distant image."
"Wow" they both mumbled "Crazy. Terrifying. No matter you were late."