A real story... My story.

Second semester uni

I thought high school was bad... Boy was I so wrong. life is complete shit, ya some people may think, "well it could be worse." well you wanna know what I say to that... "well I could be dead so fuck off!" Because if things keep going the way they are I'll be dead by february of next year. That'[s close if you don't know. 

Everything has been going so wrong. I've been sick for months now. And when I went home for christmas the first thing my mom had did to me was yell at me and smack me in the face pretty much. That was metaphorical but i think it would have been better if she would have just literally smacked me in the face. My dad and brother didn't even talk to me the whole time I was there. I was so happy when the rest of my family came over because then there would be no more yelling no more looking at me like I was a piece of shit stuck to the bottom of their shoe. All of this because I fell in Love with someone. I learned that night that my aunt was gonna have another baby, so I would have another cousin. I turned towards my brother and said, "so I guess we are gonna have another cousin huh?" He turned away and didn't say a word. After everyone left, I felt hopeless again, I felt trapped like they were about to pounce and destroy me, not like they haven't already. I went to sleep so relieved that night because I knew when morning would come they wouldn't try anything because it was finally christmas. 

We opened our presents the next day and we were happy everything felt like it used to be. Until all the gifts were unwrapped and silence set in again and I felt trapped again. I was nervous, on edge the whole time I sat in the living room waiting for someone to say something bad about me. I got ready for dinner and we left soon after, nothing had happened yet to my surprise but as I got into the car taking all my things with me my mom had that pissed off bitchy face on as she usually does when she looks at me. I just walked by her and went to the car. We were about to take off when I said wait I forgot something and I ran back to the house. I grabbed it and when I came back into the car my family was making a snide remark about Justin's I knew they were by the tone and because I wasn't staying another night at "home" if you can even call it that. 

We arrived at my grandmothers house and everyone was already there thank god I was so happy to be out of that small car and away from my "family". We said hello to everyone and everything was great until someone mentioned Justin and talked to me and my mom about him and everything. I let that pass and tried not to think about it. But at the end of the night when I was about to leave I had forgotten something in my dads car, so I asked for the keys... He wouldn't give me them so I said ok can you just unlock the car, he did but in the middle of doing so my mom had asked for the keys and he said why don't you just tell her shes staying another night. My mom made her bitch face again and said I've been there three times. I was so happy to finally leave. I needed out of there.

When I finally said bye and everyone that knew what happened gave me their awful faces I left with relief in my heart and a smile on my face knowing I would see Justin and I would finally be going home. This Christmas was shit just as I suspected it would be. 

Today on January 2nd 2016 I texted my dad what the site was for the pei campground that we alwasy go to when we got in the summer. We always went to the same one so I asked what it was on text and my dad said that he wasn't a fool and that he thought we were going together as a family. I pretty much told him that he was crazy because he obviously didn't even think about what happened at Christmas. It wasn't that long ago. He says that I am a bloody fool. and he tried to call me after I said that I was done trying to be happy and trying to make them all happy because obviously they aren't trying. Then he says that I'm a hypocrite because I don't want to talk to him. Well I wonder why he didn't want to talk to me at Christmas, why the fuck would I want to talk to him right now? He then said that him, my mom and my brother are under a lot of strain right now. Yeah sure my brother is under a whole lot of strain fuck. Paid car, paid schooling, paid everything for him. If he needs something all he has to say is mommy and he gets it. Me I have to go through war to get what I want. It's always been that way and my mom thinks its my fault. My dad then told me that me my mom, him, and my brother need to get together and talk about my future all I said was no. I left the conversation after that. Now he knows how it feels for someone to not even try. Taste it and swallow it dad. Fuck you!

So now I sit on my bed at my new house... Well Justin's house which is now my home. Justin is a work and really I have no idea what is gonna happen for my second semester of school because I really highly doubt my parents are gonna pay for it. I guess we will just see what happens from now on. 

I'll keep you updated if anyone is still reading this.

If anyone is still reading this...

I Love you.