A real story... My story.

Grade 11 summer

This summer has been kinda good, I mean I cant complain Ive been to a music festival I dont know if any of you know it but warped tour. Yeah so i went there it was super fun but boiling the whole day, I wish it would have rained but it didn't. Also the bands that I really wanted to see couldn't get into Canada and the other bands that could I could'nt find them it kinda sucked. I also got burnt which wasn't too bad but it was such a long way home, I was so happy when I got home. Through the whole experience though I had stayed up till 4 am either texting a certain person or doing school work. thats right school work, english to be exact. And no before you ask I did not fail I am skipping ahead so I dont have to present anything because I kinda have anxiety in front of crowds.

Theres also this guy that I met on Hot or Not, you might know the site but anywaysIi met him there and hes really nice. Hes probably gonna read this but I guess I'm afraid of things that are gonna happen. Ive never gotten close to someone, well thats a lie but I' afraid to get close to someone because of all the lies I've been through. He says he loves me but can I really say it back with out wanting to crawl up in a corner. He's probably gonna hate me for this and I'm sorry but it's the truth, I'm a little damaged.

He says he will stay with me until I get better but I don't know if I will... My mom keeps telling me things will get better, but when and how thing sjust seem to be getting worse and I'm falling apart but I try to keep it together. I just have those days where the feelings are just to strong to surrpass. Many of you may know this feeling, but what about the feeling of trying not to lie to someone and say your fine and that you know that some how you will get through it but in time. He says he loves me that he cares about me, but I dont want to break him, I dont want to hurt him  as much as I don't want to be hurt and I don't know how to tell him. Yet I don't want to lose him.

Other than that mind thing, summer has been hot as hell and hummid, yeah yeah some may say 'you complain about the cold now you complain about the heat' yeah I do because we go from one extreme to the next, I say it as it is.  I used to have a pool but it kinda blew up one summer, it was sad but really amusing. So now I spend my days watching old disney movies on the VCR, If any of you know what that is your amazing heres a taco. My favorite movie is the little mermaid, i love it, I dont know why but I do.

Another thing is that I have to go to football games almost every weekned. This weekend we are going to Pickering four hours away ugh. Its strating to get annoying, yet I wish that we could go to Canada's wonderland like my mom promises but it never happens, we never have money for anything for me but always for whatever my brother needs. That's the way my life goes here. You might say 'oh but you went to wrped' yeah with my friend with my oen money and my mom's cell phone, she didn't have to pay fro anything, but I'm fine with it. I'll get my money soon enough. I sound like a gang leader or something haha.

so pretty much at the end of teh summer i spent a weekend the last weekend with him, at a cottage along way away from my family it was so nice. we were at a cottage and it was great on the way home, we went on a farie to get over a river that was fun. I know I was scared to love him but I have to, i cant chose it just happens. I love him. My mom says that it wont last but i really dont give a crap what she says. I know i may get my heart broken but thats life right what can I do about it. Nothing thats what. Im just gonna have to go through whatever happens.

I still have that achy feeling of slowly getting depressed, but ill try to fight it, it may not help that im going back to school. so lets just see how school goes and see how pissed I get at everyone.