Chocolate Shake (a Fairly OddParents fanfic)

Throwdown.

After a veri long flight, Woonder made it home, safe and sound, heartbroken and disciplined.

"Wanda, my lerve!" Cosmo shouted the moment Wanda levitated through Timmy's front door. "I hoped to never see you again."

Wanda squinted her eyes until they disappeared into nonexistence. "Don't tell me..." she trailed off, her head swiveling from Cosmo to Timmy repeatedly.

"YOU GUYS THREW ME A SURPRISE WELCOMING HOME PARTY?!?!" Wanda gasped, jumping to conclusions based on evidence that was nowhere to be seen.

"No," Cosmo said steadily, narrowing his eyes. "We threw you a surprise welcoming home party."

"WHAT! NO WAY!" she screeched, teeming with excitement.

"Actually," Sir Tim stepped forward with a smirk on his face that he thought made him look cool and edgy and said, "we've been cheating behind your back."

"YEAH, SIKE!" the green haired sex addict roared with dumb laughter.

"Aw shit. Well, it looks like you got me there," Wanda lamented, her salty tears screaming as they rolled down her cheeks. "But, Cosby, I'm in love with you."

"Wander, pls. Spare me your mortal emotions," Cosmo sniffed indifferently.

"But we're both immortal fairies," Wanda added, confused.

"Shit! She knows too much, Cosmo. Let's kill her," Tim Tom growled with intimidation, but it was completely negated by his stupid fucking pink hat.

Luckily for Wanda, she spent 10 years in a violent gang and 5 years training in the mountains of Asia and was prepared to fight these two buckaroos.

"It's a gosh darn shame you're gonna get your butts kicked," Wanda spat and settled into a crab-like fighting stance.

"Yeah...well...you know what??" Timmy prattled on, searching for a suitable insult, but all he could come up with was snapping his fingers threateningly.

And so the fnucking battle began.

Wanda, Cosmo, and Timmy started whacking each other with the new Barbies of various body types. They are multi-inclusive and multi-purposeful. The 2010s aren't doing so bad.

After lots of aggressive battle noises, Wadna landed a fatal blow on Sir Turner's exposed belly button. Screaming in pleasure, he collapsed to the floor. Everyone stopped battling to look at him and ask, "Wtf, dude?"

In Turner Timmy's final breaths, he murmured, "Don't...kink shame...me."

Cosmo fell to his knees, a flabbergasted mess. What would he do without Tom? And who is he without his forbidden lerver??

"Hey, sorry, man. Wanna go get some pizza?" Wanda asked casually as if she hadn't just killed her husband's lover.

"No thanks, I'm gay and in the middle of something," the fairy ass sassed and then turned back to dramatically crying over dead Timothy.