Chocolate Shake (a Fairly OddParents fanfic)

Sleeping with fishes.

Cosmo and Timmy sat in the chairs on the ship's deck sipping mango milkshakes. They had the 3D movie theater glasses on with the 3D lens part scissored out. The boys thought they looked pretty slick. "Hey, Cosmo," Timmy started, suppressing a giggle and pointing to his milkshake, "but where did the man go?"

Cosmo turned to Sir Tim with a serious expression and said solemnly, "Kill yourself."

After a count of silence, they both broke out laughing. Timmy stared out at the ocean and over dramatically whispered with his eyes still glued to the waves, "Cosmo Senpai, do you think we can do it while the sun sets?"

"Um, no. That triggers me."

Timmy turned to Cosmo and noticed his lover's very geometrical head and face. Tim realized he was a fairy ass with gross green hair. "Ur a fairy ass, u kno," the smol boy sighed heavily at his partner's fairy assed-ness.

"No," the fairy ass said.

A singular, lonely tear fell from Timmy's face. It reflected his sad, sad feelings he felt.

Cosmo continued abruptly, "...but what we can do is kill Vicky."

Timmy's singular tear immediately shot back up into his eye. He nodded happily and mused, "I thought you'd never ask!"

"I didn't ask. Ur the fairy ass, btw."

Before going on the cruise, the lovers kidnapped Sir Tim's childhood  tormentor, Vicky.

Cosmo and Timmy shot up from their fucking seats and bolted at the speed of light exactly to Vicky's location... on the poop deck. Because she's a piece of shit.

Vicky was making the best of her situation. She was doing BDSM with the seagulls. "I'll fifty shades of gray you," she whispered to the seagulls [insert Lenny face here].

Trying to be sneaky sneaks, Cosmo and Timmy tiptoed to the kinky scene Vicky partook in. While doing the gr8 sneakin', Cosmo fucking ripped one.

Sir Tim screeched in bloody murder with his potato sack still in his hands.

Vicky swiveled around, her pink eyes glaring at the tater sack. "WHY I OUTTA!"

Panicking, Cosmo shot his fucking leggies into Vicky's fucking face. He kicked profusely, as if his legs were on a very fast escalator.

"Aha! We have you now!!" smol Sir Turner laughed.

Timmy whipped out his bright candy apple red iPhone 9000TM that sponsors an AIDS awareness campaign and played "Icky Vicky" by Chip Skylark on full blast while Cosby beat the living shit out of Vicky while the seagulls watched during Tuesday's full mooned night.

"Goodnight. Enjoy the sexual tension, reader," Cosmo murmured as he looked directly at the audience.