Chocolate Shake (a Fairly OddParents fanfic)

FAIRY GODPARENTS!

Wadna and Cosby were panicking because now they had a dead body on their hands, specifically the whiney Tim Tom. It was late in the afternoon with a beautiful golden sunset glowing across the sky, when Cosmo deadpanned, "Let's burry him."

"Weren't you in love with him?? Shouldn't you turn me in for murder??" Wander gaped, flabbergasted that her cheater of a hubby would rather bury him and sip smoothies than go to the police and sip milkshakes. Something was seriously wrong with Cosmo.

Wanda gasped once the realization struck her, just like my dad used to do to me – hi yes hello I had a troubling childhood.

"You're not Cosmo!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!!!"

Cosmo narrowed his eyes and ripped off his fnucking face. But underneath was another face!!!

Juandissimo Magnifico, aka the swagmaster!

"WHAT! WHO THE FNUCK ARE YOU?" Wadna screeched in angry bird fear.

"A dad just trynna make a difference," Juandissimo muttered softly, so softly that Wanda didn't even hear him but nodded her head anyway because she didn't want to make him repeat himself and ruin the dramatics of the moment.

"But you didn't have to kill Sir Tim!"

"I didn't. You did, remember?" the swagmaster said with a perplexed face.

"No, no. Yeah, no. It wasn't me. Must've been you," Woonder nonchalantly commented, stroking her fairy chin.

Squinting his muscular eyebrows, Juandissimo Magnifico ripped off Wadna's face too to reveal Poof.

"Wot the funk do you think you're doing here?!?!" he hollered at the floating infant.

Then-Wanda-Now-Poof just stared up at him with big bebe doe eyes. It would've been cute and effective had he not been a goddamn murderer!

Then Timmy shot up from his death bed, causing the two fairies to Gaspity Gasp™. Without another word, Tom Tim peeled his face off to reveal DENZEL QUINCY CROCKER!

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!! I knew you were real!" Mr. Crocker, Timmy's wonky, not-right-in-the-head teacher shouted and then snatched the two fairies. Immediately afterwards he dipped right out of there with his proof.

On his way back to the school to show his fellow coworkers that fairies did in fact exist, he was stopped by Wanda, Cosmo, and Timmy, but the real ones this time.

"I want my son back!" Wander yelled.

"We want our sex partner back!" the fairy ass and Sir Turner called.

Wanda turned to them and asked, "Is there something I should know about??"

"Wanda, we should go save them and talk about this later–" Cosmo said, which was probably the most rational thing he's ever uttered throughout the entirety of this book.

"No, no, no. Are you cheating on me?!"

"No, of course not, my lerve! Sex stands for Squidward Erotica X-rays. It's a litty titty program," Cosby said smoothly, saving himself and preserving the forbidden romance going on between him and Timmy.

"Thank fnucking god!" Wanda said in relief. Then, without any warning, she flew at Mr. Crocker and started kicking him with her tiny fairy leggies. Cosmo joined her while Timmy went to work on freeing Poof and Juandissimo.

Once they beat up Mr. Neck Ear and banished him to Hell™, the fairies threw one great big party to celebrate their close call with death. But unbeknownst to Woodner, the green haired sex addict and the brunet with the faggoty hat were cheating in the next room over.

"What would I do without you, my lerve?" Cosby asked seductively.

"Frick that old, pink haired shovel," Timmy said, crying just at the thought of Wanda and The Sex™.

The green haired cheater smiled with one eye closed and the other one open.

"Ya make some gud point," he murmured, his voice laced with a desire to fnuck.

"Thx, now git over here," Timmy smirked slyly.

All night during the frickity frack, Timothy sang a variety of tv show theme songs over and over just to please his Cosmo Senpai. Sir Turner didn't know why Cosmo liked it when he sang theme songs, but it didn't matter to him. This fairy ass was the lerve of his life, and anything he says, goes.