Heavy In Your Arms

~~~Lies.

I woke up and I looked around the room. I was in the hospital.

 I saw Eli sitting on a chair by the window asleep. I was lying flat on my back so I hit the button to raise the bed and Eli's eyes shot open.

"Hey." I said and noticed how dry my throat was.

 "Hey." He said and wiped his eyes.

 "I'm so going to kick your ass." He said and looked at me.

"Why?" I asked.

"I had to tell mom that we went to that party." He said and sighed.

 "Shit." I whispered.

"Yeah, she was really pissed when we still thought you had been poisoned." He said and stared at me.

"What made me pass out then?" I asked.

"You know what made you pass out." He said.

"No, I don't tell me." I said even though I thought I might've had a pretty good idea.

"You making yourself throw up? Is that ringing any bells?" He asked.

I looked down at my feet and then back at Eli. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say.

 "I know you wouldn't intentionally make yourself do that. You need to tell me who is." He said looking at me seriously.

"No one is making me do it." I said.

"So no one's said anything?" He asked.

 "No. It's all me." I said but I could tell he didn't believe me.

He didn't want to believe that his little sister would do something like that to herself.

"What time is it?" I asked. 

"About six in the morning." He said.

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

 "Since one." He said.

 "Have you been here the whole time?" I asked.

 "Yeah." He said and yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Go home and get some sleep." I said.

"No. I'll stay." He said and sat back in his chair.

"No, you won't. Go." I said pointed at the door.

"Shut up. I'm staying." He said and leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

 "Why are you even here?" I asked.

"Because you're my sister? Is there something wrong with me being here?" He asked.

"No. I just figured Mom would be here." I said.

"I told her to go home." He said yawned again.

"Why?" I asked.

 "Because." He said and clenched his jaw.

"Because why?" I asked.

 "Because I felt bad." He said and opened his eyes and stared at me.

"Why?" I asked.

 "Because this is the one thing I can't protect you from." He said and his eyes went misty.

He blinked them and looked down at the ground. 

"You don't have to protect me from everything." I said.

"Yes, I do. Mom and Dad certainly don't. And Lydia just doesn't give a shit about anyone." He said and clasped his fingers on his lap.