Midnight Sun

Then and Now

Top's POV


I'm lying on my bed trying to think about what happened the night I followed Sol on a hotel. The thirst that I felt was so unbearable I lost focus. I woke up, probably after a few minutes, facing the cold concrete of the hotel's parking lot. Damn. Good thing one of the perks of being a vampire is the good looks even after you smash your face to the floor. No scars, no bumps. I even look better. Wow. Maybe I should try punching my face, I might look even better. Ha ha ha! Maybe the reason Sol is very pretty ( i'd prefer using pretty rather than handsome) , is because he always hit his face since he was born. Now that's funny!

I laughed silently at my own joke. But then, I can't fool around all the time, right? My mind always reminds me about the girl Sol and Sky is with. She must be something special. You know, like those in vampire love stories you get from books and movies? Maybe it's a love triangle between Sol, that girl, and Sky. Hah! And so Sky ended up falling in love with a vampire? Poor her. What will her family say to her if they find out.

But I'm really not one to say. Back then, I want Karen, Sky's sister, to fall in love with me as well, even though I'm a vampire, though the situation back then was different. Karen's also a vampire so we can still be together. Back then, it was just a matter of an easy choice between her family and me, no pressure on her part. How I wish she accepted my love for her. Everything might be a lot better for me if she did. Well, I am not sure if that's still how I wanted things to be. Maybe I'm over her now, or maybe not. I'm really not sure. Serious mode. Ha ha!

Tender brown eyes.

I can't figure out why the image of that stranger girl keeps popping on my mind. Thinking about her makes me thirst for blood. I don't like this feeling. Being thirsty is like a constant reminder that I am not a human anymore. And you know, thinking about me being a monster, makes me also think that I can just easily try and bite her ( and for sure, that will make Sol and Sky become very very furious, and that's what I want. I could take my revenge on them for making my life miserable by using that fragile girl) , but I know I can't. A part of me can't. I still have conscience, you know. At least, I was able to keep that human part of me.

I'm a hundred percent, well, ninety nine percent (to be safe) sure that that girl is not a vampire. Well, maybe after sixty years of being one, I learned how to distinguish my kind. Wow. My kind. As if I already accepted being a monster. Shit. This isn't me.

Tender brown eyes.

Damn girl! She's making it hard for me to focus on what I needed to think about. But what do I really need to think about? As if I have focused on an important thing in my whole life. What did my parents always say about me? Reckless, not thinking, no goal in life. Yeah, that's how they describe me. I guess that's true. Yeah, they're probably true.

After so many years, after Karen left me, this is the only time, again, that I had something worthwhile to do. But what do I really have to do? Lie here on my bed, thinking about non-sense things, and make a war inside my head? Thinking about how stupid I am, or thinking how my life sucks? I think I'm the king of failures.

Tender brown eyes.

I punched the pillow so hard my fist went straight to the floor. I just smashed my own bed. Great. Lesson learned: anger management. Tomorrow I'm sure I'll forget about it. See? My parents are right. I always reserve my brain for stupid things.

Tender brown eyes.

Damn brown eyes! Damn that girl! She's making me insane! Damn everything!