It's all starting to become a distant memory. I haven't seen his face for so long, and the feeling is starting to get worse. I miss him a lot, but I'm not sure if I want to see him again if he's going to act like we don't know each other, like we've never had a special relationship. I'm close to losing hope, I have no idea if he's going to come to class tonight. But I can say I'm used to it, I'll just pretend this never happened and continue living my happily miserable life. The fault of getting too attached was mine, he never promised anything, and I guess everything will be the same without his spark of presence in everything I do.
~
As I thought, he didn't appear. "Ellen, do you happen to know what has happened to Jungkook? I thought you might know something as you two used to hang out."
Thanks Dave, you rock as a teacher but you surely know how to make me dip into the sorrow I've been trying to escape from."No clue where he may be, we haven't come in contact for quite a while now."
"Ah alright, just let me know if you have any news okay?"
"Yeah no problem."
~
I'm walking home, breathing heavily. I don't want to return to my concrete hell yet, I want to walk. Seeking comfort in the memories, I decided to head to the beach. Hopefully I'll finally be able to convince myself that it was just an unfortunate moment, and letting it sink it will help me move on. The worst part is that I even lost his company which I never wanted to, an afternoon took away something that started to make me feel alive. Dipped inside my thoughts, I'm almost there.
~
Who would randomly seat across the sea at this time? It's cold, humid and dark. I guess we're all just lonely souls trying to find peace in the darkness, to grasp onto the tiniest hope hidden in the deepest of the unknown.
I'm walking closer, I'm about to sit somewhere far from the person who's there. But, wait, huh? This looks like, (?)
"Jungkook?"
He was sitting alone, no mat or romantic torches. His orbs lost somewhere in the sea, lonely and cut off from the rest of the world.
He turns around surprised, he definitely didn't expect to see me there. "Ellen.." and he rose from the sand.
"What are you doing here?"
"You know, just thinking", a sad expression on his face confused me, he talks quietly, voice is almost too stable.
"Where have you been all these days? I was worried you know."
I was annoyed but didn't want to attack him, he didn't seem to be okay.
"Yeah sorry for that, I didn't mean to worry you."
He pressed his lips together, then curved down to a curve he isn't usually seen wearing, something is bugging him but I can't figure out what. His black hair fits his skin perfectly once again, framing his face. God, he is one captivating young man.
"I know that this is inappropriate but please excuse me, I'm a little late and I have to go-"
That's where I insisted.
"No Jungkook we need to talk."I immediately regretted raising my voice, he looked at me with those eyes that make me melt.
"Look Ellen I don't think that this is a good idea."
His frown is starting to get massive, serious tone & gaze lowered.
YOU ARE READING
borderline » jjk
Fanfiction- in which jeon jungkook struggles with borderline personality disorder.