borderline » jjk

본능

I'm waiting outside my house. Anxiety running in my blood, I hope I won't mess all this up. Gotta get my shit together, hold the box of sweets carefully, don't say anything inappropriate, be polite, act relaxed and everything will turn out okay. My dad's at work and mom is sleeping, I can't get busted. Oh, there he is.

I walk towards him. He's dressed a bit formal, I'm just wearing jeans. "Hey" he smiles widely. "Hello", I kiss him. He's a bit surprised.

"Aren't you scared of your parents seeing us?"

"No they can't
. So, which way are we going?"

"Oh okay, why the hurry?" He chuckled.

"I just can't wait to do this."
Not that I'm way too nervous.

He smiles.
"Well you're not very patient anyway. This way", he points at the street and we start walking towards it. He saw me biting my lip.

"Don't be so worried, my mom is going to love you, I'm sure."

"Do you really think of that? Uh I'm afraid of messing it up.."

"Hey you're a smart girl, even if you mess something up I'll fix it smoothly for you."

"Thanks for having my back.. So.. How did you tell her?.. I mean, 'hey mom I'm bringing my girlfriend over'?"

'Haha that was my point but I said it more appropriately. I'm telling you she's the coolest, she even asked me if we're having 'more intimate relations'. "

Okay, I may be 16 but I've never seen him this way· I mean he's very attractive and all but the idea of 'intimate relations' has never crossed my mind. I'm really scared, besides I don't even know how you realize you're ready. Jungkook is an adult in Korean time so I have no clue if he's gone that far. I'm just going to laugh it off, I don't want to make things awkward.

I paused, he looks at me.

"Did I creep you out?"

"Uh no it's not that, I just wasn't ready for this kind of conversation, you know?"

"Yeah I totally understand, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, but if your mom asked such a thing it means that uh you have um–"

"Ah right yeah I should probably tell you, you're asking me if I'm a virgin right?"

I laughed nervously, this made me feel so uncomfortable.
"Hah well.."

He doesn't seem to be that unfamiliar with the topic. "There's nothing to be ashamed about, it's all part of life. Well I used to have a girlfriend 2 years ago, we were at a party where everyone thought i'd be cool if we got drunk and stuff. We were absolutely laid, next thing I remember was waking up next to her, so I guess I'm technically not a virgin. It didn't really mean anything though, I can't remember a thing and she wasn't my first love, so I'm still saving my actual 'first time' for someone I truly care about."

This honestly couldn't get any worse, and the fact that he's more experienced than me definitely doesn't help.

"I see.. Now can we please change topic? Hahah."

"Sure, I just thought I'd share it with you."

Us two alone in a room will be a more complicated experience now, great.