Writer's Block (My Book of Rants)

When It All Began...

It all began with a dream. Seriously. One time I had a very awesome dream and the next day I continued to play it out in my head and add on to it because it was that cool.

Ok, so I wouldn't officially call that the 'start' of my writing life. Because honestly, it all started when I learned about a beautiful thing called, Imagination.

I have lived in a La-La land ever sense I can remember. While everyone else was doing one thing, I was off in another place doing my own thing.

Whenever we drove somewhere I would stare out the window and pretend to be doing the following:

1. Riding a horse

2. Running really fast

3. Pretend I was a horse running really fast

4. Driving

5. Flying a plane

6. Riding on a pterodactyl (except at that time I had no idea what those were actually called)

7. Pretend to be a cheeta

8. Pretend to be in a space ship

9. Pretended to be in a submarine

You get the idea. I was never bored in a car.

Today I still do it. Except now it's moved onto me just daydreaming.

1. I pretend to be traveling on foot on a long journey.

2. I pretend to be running away (from what? No idea)

3. Or I just stare at the sky

As I've gotten older, my "daydreams" and "fantasies" grew more... Intense.

But I'll get to that later.

Anywho. As a youngling my daydreams were limited to stuff I knew about. I was into animals so naturally, I daydreamed about animals.

That I was an animal, that I had a bunch of animals, and it didn't stop there.

I grew up with stuffed animals. It's kind of embarassing but I had a huge stack of stuffed animals that I slept with at night. And they were pretty much my escape from reality.

After our parents had tucked us in and said goodnight, while my sisters fell asleep I would grab my animals and play out whatever scenario popped into my head until I drifted off to sleep.

The problem with that was I gave each and every one of my 30 something animals names, personalities, and backstories. So when it came time to give some away it became very emotional for me.

It's like being a writer and having your characters. You can't stand to have them taken away from you. You hurt when they hurt. You feel what they feel. That's how it was for me when I was little (between the ages of 3-7. I didn't have a lot of friends)

My stuffed animals became my characters in an untold story. I gave them a voice that I heard. They had thoughts and acted on their own. Whenever someone asked me about them I could give them a full out backstory.

As I was saying, my imagination was sorta limited to what I knew about. Therefore, all I knew about was singing animals and singing princesses.

I get it. Just because I was a six-year old girl it automatically meant I was supposed to be intrigued by Disney princesses.

Uh... No thank you.

I mean almost every situation was the exact same. There's a girl, she happens to be the most attractive person in all the land, she wants to marry the prince, there's someone stopping her, it doesn't matter because in the end they all live happily ever.

YAWN

I mean, no offense to anyone who likes those kinds of stories but they are not my thing.

I needed more action! More peril! And for once! Just once, an unhappy ending!

But that wouldn't come until I discovered Marvel but more on that later.

Anyway, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Ok raise your hand if you ever had Littlest Petshop toys.

Because I had a HUGE bucket full. And just like with the stuffed animals I gave them names, personalities, and backstories.

I put what they did in those Disney movies and added my own twist to them.

I chose the most beautiful maiden in all the land, chose her prince charming, and had the guy who prevented them from being together.

But did it all end up happily ever after?

NO!

I would have some tragic thing happen to prevent the two lovers from being together (usually a tragic death) and yes. I was like six.

Soon I added war to my 'games' I would line my Pet Shops up in front of me, seperate them into the good guys and the bad guys and have a full out battle.

And the thing was, I never talked out loud when I played. I always talked in my head so no one ever knew what I was actually doing.

When they would come up they would assume, Oh! She's just having fun with her cute little toys!"

And I would be like, Exscuse me, there is an intense battle unfolding between the forces of good and evil thank you very much.

But I never said that out loud.

The war and battle phase of my imagination didn't come until after I watched Narnia for the first time but more on that later.

So basically what I'm trying to sum up here is that, I have been writing all my life. And I just didn't realize it.

But now I've gotten serious about it. And some day, maybe, I will become a published author.