Love Strung Depression (Zak Bagans Romance)

Chapter 9

Sitting down on Zak's bed, I replayed meeting Nick and Aaron over and over in my head. I really did like them, they always seemed to make me smile a little which no one was ever able to do. 

"Sorry they asked so many questions." Zak said sitting down next to me. 

"It's fine really, I don't have many friends and I like them." I admitted.

We sat quietly for a minute until Zak spoke

"Well they like you, and I like you more." 

His words turned me red, I didn't know how to respond to him I was too scared to use my words to describe the feelings that I had grown for him. 

"Zak I-" I tried to talk, I wanted to tell him how I felt but I just couldn't because I knew it wouldn't come out the way I wanted it too.

"Shh it's alright Scar." Zak said gently pushing  me back onto the bed and rolling ontop of me.

Our chests pressed together, feeling his heart pounding against my sternum as if asking boldly to enter my soul. He doesn't love me but I can feel a warmth radiating off his wide hands gripping my waist, I can see it in his eyes, hear it in his hushed tones he gives off as he inches closer to my lips. My lips begin to tremble knowing that I'm this close to someone again. 

Holding his face centimeters from mine, his eyes flickered down to my lips and back up to my eyes in seconds. Gently he pressed his lips to mine after what had felt like an eternity. 

Instantly my stomach boiled with warmth and I couldn't help but smile into the kiss. It was the first actual time I had really smiled in years. The tingling sensation that spread through out my body scared me but at the same time invited me in, to keep holding him and kissing him. 

I tangled my hands into his hair in attempt to pull him closer to me. His hand ran up my leg pulling my hips closer to his.Slowly I became scared of what would happen and forced myself to retract from the kiss. I laid there quiety for a moment searching Zak's sea blue eyes for his emotion. 

"What's wrong?" Zak asked carressing my cheek leaving a trail of chills behind. 

"I want to but I don't think I can." I said breaking eye contact with Zak.

"I wasn't going to do anything, I only wanted to kiss you." Zak whispered.

"I'm scared." I whispered.

"Scarlett, where the hell have you been? You promised that you would be here an hour ago."

"Work ran a little late, give me some space." I said as I already felt the usual fright run through my body, preparing for a rough talk.

"If you're going to be that way them just leave." he yelled pointing to the door.

"I gladly will, I'll leave this relationship while I'm at it because you're suffocating me!" I screamed picking my bag up off the floor. 

"You're suffocating me." I mumbled.

"NO Scarlett please don't be like this again. You always do this to me. You only ever spend time with everyone else and not me." Mason said coldly grabbing my arm.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I screamed ripping my arm from him.

"What did you just say to me?" he asked his glare turning to ice.

"I said not to touch me!" I yelled backing my way to the door.

"You should know by now not to tell me what to do."

"No, i should of known not to be with you."

Stumbling against the wall I held my palm to my stinging face.

It didn't hurt because a man just hit me with all of his force, it hurt because it was he did it. 

I felt the tears already forming in my eyes but I chose to avoid them because I couldn't just cry that easily, it's a sign of weakness and he can't know. 

I already felt my headache begin to form as I looked up to see him kneeling down next to me. Mentally preparing myself for the worst, but what he did next surprised me. He ran his fingers through my hair. 

Kissing me on the head he whispered "Sorry" over and over again. 

From that day on I was too scared to talk back to him because I knew he would hit me, I knew he would hurt, and I knew that one day he would stop loving me. 

"I know you're scared Scarlett, but you don't need to be scared of me. I wouldn't ever dare lay a finger on you." Zak whispered running his fingers through my hair. 

"Promise me, that you'll never hurt me in anyway." I whispered wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him close to my face.

"I promise." Zak breathed onto my face. His warm breath gliding on my skin felt so good, I didn't want him to ever go.

What this was, was something I hadn't had since him. Even when he was there with me he only abused me and made up for it with romantic gestures. I would fall out of love with him more and more each day leaving me feeling numb when he tried to hold me or kiss me. I was scared Zak would do the same thing to me but something on the inside told me that he was different, that he would actually care, and he wouldn't hurt me. 

The idea of falling back into love again worried me because everything that falls is meant to be broken. I was still healing from my hard break from him. Why couldn't I just love? So I wouldn't break.

"Scarlett, I won't let you break." Zak said lifting my chin so I was looking at him again.

"He's gone, if he ever comes back I won't let you go, I won't let him take you." Zak said growling a little.

"Zak, tell me you feel something." I begged.

"Scar, I feel anything and everything for you. I don't want us to only ever be friends anymore. The truth is that-"

"It's what?" I asked scanning his eyes.

"I just want you to be happy." Zak said quickly.

"Zak you made me smile for the first time in years, you've brought an ounce of happiness into my life." I admitted.

"Then it's working." Zak whispered kissing me on the lips.