AAOOOSC! Universe!

Chpt.1 "Work On Your Laugh!"

There is a dark room.
On the left side is a desk.
On top of the desk is a working computer and a desk lamp, which is providing the area of the room with the desk with light.
Sitting at the desk is a man all should know of: Luis Suárez!
He is typing furiously while having his head craned towards the screen of the computer with narrowed eyes and a hunched back. He mutters words to himself in a harsh accented voice: "I can't win the World Cup, but I can win something more than that!" His eyes grow wide with excitement as he leans back into his chair. He chuckles a high-pitched evil laugh with his mouth closed. "I can...I can take over soccer!" He throws his hands in the air. "I can take over FIFA!" He clicks on the mouse while staring at the screen. "And I can take over...the Premier League!" He makes a shocked look and immediately shakes his head rapidly. "Nuh-uh, don't want the Red Coats coming now! Hmmmm..." He places his elbow on the desk as he drums his fingers against his cheek. "I want to take over another soccer league...not the one I'm in... Ooo!" He perks up. "MLS! Major Soccer League!" He makes the same evil chuckle as he clicks some more on the computer. "Ah, so FIFA and MLS is on...my list!" He smiles with his fists in the air. "Ah, that rhymes! But..." He slumps a bit in his chair. "Should I take over other leagues? Or just those two? Hm." He scratches his chin as he looks up while mulling over his choices.
"Take over more leagues," a goofy voice whispers from behind his left shoulder.
"Yes, yes." Luis nods his head. "I think I should."
"Yesss... Take 'em all!" the same voice says from this time his other shoulder.
"Which leagues do you have in mind?"
"FIFA."
Luis slams his hands on the desk and furiously turns around, facing who was talking to him.
It was Juan Camilo Zúñiga; he has a massive, goofy grin on his face.
"I already have FIFA on my list!" Luis snaps at him.
"Ohhhhh!" the Colombian nods his head slowly.
"What other leagues should be under my power‽" He extends his hand; deep orange energy spotted with black dots starts flowing from it.
"Awwwww, why can't I have powers?" Juan cries while looking at Luis's hand with a frown and big eyes.
The Uruguayan turns his hand into a fist, extinguishing the flow. "At least you work with someone with powers!"
Juan's eyes light up. "Yea! I work with you! Yea!" He extends his hand out toward his master to give him a high-five.
Luis frowns at him. "No." He then turns back around, facing the computer again. "So, what leagues shall I take over? Hm?"
"Uh, uh..." The Columbian snaps his fingers while thinking of a league. "How about that one sport where these guys wear tight pants with humongous shoulders and pounce on one another for a some brown thing--?"
"Football?" Luis translates.
"No!" Juan makes an odd look. "Why would it be called football if they don't use their feet?"
"It's called football," he says while typing. "Yet I do agree with you that that's not a good name for the sport." He hits the 'enter' key. "Aha! National...Football...League, or NFL!"
"Yea, take over them huge shouldered tight pants peoples!"
"Okay!" Luis clicks on the mouse. "Who else? There's also..." He leans closer toward the screen to get a good look at it. "...the National Basketball Association, or the NBA--"
"Yes, yes, get that one!" Juan cheers on.
The leader clicks on the mouse. "How about the...Major Baseball League, or MLB--?"
"Yea, get that one, too!"
Luis adds the league onto the list. "Hockey? Hm?" He straightens up a bit. "National Hockey League? NHL?"
"Well, which one do you want, National Hockey League or NHL?" Juan asks with a shrug.
"They're the same thing, dummy! But hockey..." He taps his finger against his chin. "...that'd be cool sport to take over!" He ambitiously clicks on the mouse. "There." He leans back and examines his list of leagues he's intending to take over. "So I got FIFA, MLS, NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL. Good?"
"More than good, that's awesome!" Juan shouts while pumpin fists in the air. "When are we gonna start taking over the leagues‽" He hops up and down excitedly.
"We're gonna start working on it right now." Luis rubs his hands together with an insidious grin. "Juan--" He turns around in his chair, facing his helper. "--I want you to recruit as many people as possible to work for us! Power players are preferred."
"Aiy, aiy, captain!" The Columbian salutes his leader and starts marching away into the darkness. "Where is the exit?" he calls out from the darkness.
The Uruguayan waves his hand toward Juan's direction carelessly. "Don't worry, you'll find it." He faces the desk again. "Now, time to notify the League Leaders of the doom they are going to face!" He takes in a deep breath to break out into an evil laugh, but Juan cuts him off by asking: "What are the League Leaders?"
Luis slumps into his chair with a flat look. "They are the three, old men who overlook all the leagues and the powers of the leagues. I want to strike fear in them so that they can be frozen in fear and I can move swiftly into victory!"
"Oh, I see," Juan says. "But where's the exit?"
"Look. Up."
Juan looks up and sees the red exit sign glowing above him. "Oh, I see it! But how do I get all the way up there?"
Luis smacks his forehead. "You go under it. Just keep walking."
"Okay..."
The leader straightens up and grabs for the black rotary dial phone that is on the desk; before he was able to dial, he hears a loud THUMP! coming from the darkness. "Move a little to the right," he tells Juan.
"Ohohohooo," Juan says dizzily as he shuffles through the doorway.
Luis calmly dials the League Leaders' number and places the phone to his ear.
"Hello?" an elderly, grouchy voice calls from the other end.
"Hello," Luis starts, "My name...is Luis Suárez and I shall tell you one thing: Fear me because the leagues are now mine!" He then lets out a villainous laugh, which immediately turns into fits of coughs. "Ughghhh..." He clears his throat as he adjusts the phone to his ear.
"Work on your laugh!" the man says on the other end. "My dog can laugh better than ya!"
The Uruguayan grumbles. "Who is this anyways?" he asks. "The painfully awkward guy, the sleepy guy, or the angry guy?"
"What do you think, sonny‽" the man snaps with ire.
"The angry one!" Luis smirks.
"I have a name and it's Harry--!"
"Well, Harry, I have a message for you and for the rest of the League Leaders and for the six leagues: Watch out because I will be coming your way victoriously!" He then slams the phone back into its place and places his elbows on the tabletop with his fingers interlaced. "I would laugh, but my throat already hurts." He just chuckles evilly with a closed laugh.