AAOOOSC! Universe!

Chpt. 14 "Oh Yea High-Five High-Five!"

The Pro 12 are now in the main room of El Chupacabra's headquarters, where Luis's throne is located. Six of the Pro 12 are standing in front of his throne, looking up at El Jeffe Chupacabra, who is enjoying cooked chicken legs...I hope. The seventh member, John, is sitting at his desk, fully involved with his work. And the eighth member, Buster, is of course outside. Juan standing on the right side of the throne along with Gareth.
"So, who are you people?" Luis asks while chewing; he looks down at his visitors. "The Pro 12? Or should I say, Pro 8? HA!" He barks out a chuckle and rips another piece of meat with his mouth.
"How do you know about us?" Toews shouts with a disgusted look and furrowed eyebrows.
El Jeffe smiles while chucking in his throat. "You poor girl! So confused, so lost!"
"I'm not a girl!" she roars. "I'm Jonathan Toews!" She slams her fist against her chest. "Right hand ruler of the NHL!"
"Jonathan, hmmm?" Luis shoots her a puzzled look with raised eyebrows. "That is an interesting name for a girl."
Toews slaps her forehead with her eyes squeezed shut. "Ugh! I mean--" She removes her hands to face Luis with her eyes opened. "I turned into a girl!" She extends her arms out. "I'm actually a guy!"
"And how did you turn into a girl...?"
"I have no idea. But I'll find out soon," she answers sternly.
Luis begins to attempt to hold back laughter.
"What's so funny?" Toews frowns as him.
"You just don't know...you don't know...!" He places his hand over his mouth.
"Know what?"
"Know who messed around with your group!" He lets out a few chuckles, placing his hand next to his plate. "Crosby and Cutler swapping personalities, Posey turning into a guinea pig, Müller stuck with saying, 'Chmeeps!'" He bursts into laughter.
"How do you know?" Toews bellows. "You did this, didn't you‽"
"Hmmm... Well, not me specifically..." Luis says with a worn-out voice, trying to stop his laughter.
"It's was me," a voice says to Toews's left.
Toews turns to that direction, seeing Vincent standing next to the foot of Luis's throne.
The ruler of the NHL shoots him a fierce look. "Well, whoever you are, you're gonna pay for it!" She then jumps up to hover above the ground and blasts out yellow energy from both of her hands.
The energy flies through Vincent, not doing a single thing to him.
Toews lands back on her feet with a confused look. "What?"
"Maybe, I'm over here..." Vincent calls from behind her.
She turns around, seeing the Nigerian waving at her. "Wait, but you--" She snaps her head back to the left side of the throne; Vincent is still there. "What?"
"Maybe, I'm over here...!" Vincent's voice calls from her right.
Toews faces her right, seeing a couple more Vincents in that area.
"Duplication!" she spits out, concluding what is going on with Vincent.
"Ehhh...and much more than that," Luis adds in.
Toews darts her eyes up at El Jeffe. "What do you mean?"
"He has the power to defeat you guys." He smirks while pointing at the Pro 12.
"Well, for your information, I'm the right hand ruler of the NHL and I have Nigh-Omnipotence. Beat that." She crosses her arms with a cocky look.
"Mmmmm!" Luis raises his eyebrows. "Fancy pants, eh? Well, if you can't beat them, just eat them!" Luis exclaims.
"Yea, let's do that--!" Gareth's determined face immediately turns into a confused face. "Wait, what?" He turns at his Master with bewilderment.
"Ooo, that sounds like fun! Do I have sharp teeth?" Juan asks Luis, bearing his teeth.
"For dinner, instead of chicken legs, we'll have human legs!" Luis says excitedly.
John looks up from his work and rips off his reading glass; he gawks at Luis with huge eyes.
"Don't worry, John, he's always evil," Toews tells him, putting back his glasses and pushing his chin up, closing his mouth for him.
John looks up at Toews with a normal look. "Sounds reasonable." Then he turns back, continuing to work.
The ruler of the NHL faces El Jeffe with a cool look. "Well, I don't plan being dinner, so we're on." She then sharply turns around and shouts to her group. "Get our guys out! Now!"
"Inmediatamente!" Guillermo salutes to her and teleports Tony Jay, and himself in flash of red, white, and green energy. (Right away!)
"Where are they heading?" Luis screeches, starting to stand up.
"It's better if I don't tell you," Toews replies back nonchalantly.
"They're gonna get the others from the jail room!" Gareth gasps with his hands on his cheeks.
"Oh no, that's bad...!" Juan points out with wide eyes. He turns to the Welsh. "But we're bad, so it's alright, right?"
"No, it's...NOT!" Garth's hands burst into white flames, along with his eyes and the tip of his hair. He jumps into the air and emits a streak of white fire straight at Toews.
But before she could do anything, Müller jumps in front of her and blasts a stream of regular fire at the white line of fire.
"Chmeeps!" the German cries out.
"Alexis! Bryan!" Luis shouts out.
The Costa Rican and Chilean roll into the room, seeing the fight that is beginning to unfold.
"It's so on!" Alexis yells out, releasing a ribbon of cold air and chucks of ice at the closest target, who is Sidney. The air strikes the Penguin's foot, locking it against the ground.
Sidney gives him a wild, mean look, not happy that his foot is now stuck. He manipulates the ice to separate, freeing his foot, then extends his hand out at the Chilean, trapping him in an ice cube.
"Uh-oh!" Bryan calls out, eyeing his fighting partner. He then places his hand on the surface of the cube, attempting to melt it by producing lava.
"Yea, 'uh-oh' is right!" Chris pipes in, flying next to Sidney in his oriole-sized self. He then zaps Bryan's with orange energy.
"Ooof!" The Costa Rican flips over in the air and lands on his stomach.
Sidney then simply flings a whip of cold air, freezing the lava. He then shoots another round, creating an ice cube around the Costa Rican as well.
"Trapping people in ice cubes," the Penguin starts off, " is my specialty!"
"Zapping people is my specialty," Chris says with pride, placing his hand on his chest. "And razzing Bryce, too!"
Speaking of Bryce, Guillermo, Tony, and Jay come back into the room with Patrick, Tom, Bryce, and Tim.
Toews's eyes widen when she sees Patrick in view. "Kaner!" she runs up to him and hugs him.
"Ummm...?" Patrick immediately feels weird. "Who are you, dude...ette?"
Before Toews could go any further, the door that is across the room bursts open and the guards of the jail room come swarming in, full of vengeance.
Tony whistles and his blue pony rushes into view. He hops on it with Jay next to him and cries out, "Fiiiiiiiight!" Then he, Jay, Guillermo, Tim, and Bryce charge over to the guards.
"I'll go fight..." Patrick speeds off after them.
Toews frowns, cursing in her head about how much she hates looking like a girl.
"Your mom!!!" Brady shouts out, running over to the guards with a 1770s rifle in his hand.
"What about my mom?" Juan asks from behind him with curiosity.
The quarterback stops running and turns around to face the Colombian, holding the rifle against his shoulder. "Yo Momma is so ugly that she made One Direction go another direction!" He then bursts into laughter.
"Ohhhh! You're doing those 'Yo Momma' jokes, aren't you!" A smile grows on Juan's face. "I love those jokes. Yo Momma...Yo Momma is so fat that she's...FAT!"
Brady shoots him an odd look. "That has got to be the most saddest joke I've ever heard."
"Nooo! It's good!"
"No, it's not." He shakes his head.
"Oh, yes it is!" He nods his head.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"No--"
"Hah!" Brady points to him with a crazy grin. "Gotcha ya!"
"Hey, that's not fair!" Juan makes a pouty look with crossed arms.
"Your mom's not fair."
"You're not fair!"
"Fine, if you're so whiny, let's get someone else to say whether my jokes are better, because they are, or your jokes are better, which they aren't."
"Okay!" Juan looks around his surroundings, seeing that almost everyone is occupied with fighting. The ones who are not fighting are Toews, who is conversing with Luis, and John...
He marches over to John with a smile on his face. "Hi, there!" He waves at the hockey player.
John slowly raises his eyes to look at the Colombian with lifted eyebrows. "Yes?"
"Can you see which jokes are better? Mine, or his." Juan points to the Patriot, who is halting next to him.
"You're genuine?"
They both nod their heads.
"Alright, let's ascertain who's the victor." John drops his screwdriver and leans back against his chair with his eyes still on them. "I necessitate a respite, still and all."
"Okay, okay--" Juan turns to Brady. "Yo Momma is so ugly that she scared everyone...!"
"Well, Yo Mamma's so ugly, I put pictures of her on my car to prevent my radio from getting stolen," Brady says matter-of-factly.
John snorts a bit, trying to hold back his laughter; he covers his mouth and nose with his hands.
"Sooo...?" Juan asks.
"Hm, hm." The Islander sighs. "First round victor: Tom." He extends his hand at the Patriot.
"Hah!" Brady shouts at him.
"Another one, another one!" The Colombian clears his throat. "Yo Momma is so stupid...that she flunked the math test! Yea!"
"Pssh!" Brady rolls his eyes with his hands on his hips. "Yo Momma's so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!"
Juan looks at John, waiting for the verdict.
The Islander points to the Patriot easily.
"Okay, okay, I'll get this one..." The Colombian rubs his hands together, thinking of a good 'Yo Momma' joke. "Yo Momma...is so fat...that when she runs, everyone yells 'EARTHQUAKE!!!!'" He mimics the people in his joke by waving his hands in the air with a scared look.
"Yo Momma's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!" Brady says cooly.
"Tom's the victor," John immediately declares.
"What?" Juan is now gaping at the Islander. "That's not fair! Do you know any 'Yo Momma' jokes yourself?"
"In fact I do." The Islander tells him. "Yo Momma's mass to volume ratio is such that she is able to float in an area of pure nitrogen dioxide."
The two exchange awkward looks.
"Any other queries?" John questions.
"Your mom has other queries," Tom mutters as he shuffles away from him.
Juan notices someone on the other side of the room. With a smile on his face, he gallops over to the person.
The person is Neymar Jr., who is sitting on a wheelchair, cheering on the Pro 12 with the fight.
"Yea, let's go good guys! Beat them bad guys! Yeeeaaaa!" the Brazilian soccer player roots on, pumping his fists into the air.
Juan stops in front of him. "Who are you?"
Neymar makes a flat look at him, looking like he's trying to say, 'You should know, stupid.'
"OH YEA!! You are the guy--" Juan starts chuckling. "--that guy, oh man, oh man, that was awesome! You should've seen yourself, I totally--" He gets wiped out of view by an orange streak of power.
Neymar starts busting up. "Yea, now that was awesome! Oh yea, high-five, high-five!" He high fives Chris, who flies into view with a huge smile on his face.
Juan, who now has smoke coming out from his back, groans and lets his face fall on the ground.
Now it's Toews versus Luis.
"You are never, ever going to take over our leagues," Toews tells him gravely, placing a foot on the first step at the bottom of the throne.
"Hmmm...I'm sorry, but that's not on my AGENDA!!!" He then stands up straight from his throne and unleashes a blast of orange energy with black spots.
Toews extends her hands out and deflects it with her telekinetic powers; the ribbon of sun energy bounces over to the left side and crashes into the stone wall, creating a hole in it.
"No, my wall!" Luis then harshly emits more sun energy at her.
Toews ducks down to avoid getting hit and rolls over on the ground as more beams kept on appearing. She then finally gets a short break and releases a ribbon of yellow energy at him.
El Jeffe blocks it smoothly from above with a yellow energy shield that is held by his arm. "Hah! Nice try!" The energy shield then begins to expand and unfold over him until he is covered to head to toe, inside a massive energy shield that has his own outline. "Try to pierce through this!" he bellows out with his voice still surprisingly comprehendible.
"You're so on." Toews jumps to her feet and throws a round of telekinetic bullets, hoping for them to at least weaken his shield.
When the bullets make contact with the surface, the shield ripples a bit, not being harmed one bit.
"Hah! Nothing can get to me now!" Luis proclaims loudly.
"That's false!" The ruler of the NHL yells. She then catches John staring at her in the corner of her eye.
John gives her a good nod as a form of encouragement.
Toews turns back to Luis. "I can do anything. Yes, I can." She then emits a different type of energy: sound energy. Flowing from her hands, it makes Luis unstable, but he does not fall down.
After a few moments, Toews has to let go since she was beginning to grow tired.
"Bah, that was nothing!" Luis then swoops down and grabs her wrist, trying to bring her up to his eye level.
"No!" Toews squeaks out loud. She plants her feet on the ground by using telekinesis with her other hand so that she won't be in Luis's grasp. That was working, but not so much since her arm was beginning to stretch abnormally as Luis is attempting to pull her up.
"MY ARM!!!" Toews screams; she looks to her right at John. "JOHN, HELP!!!"
John looks up at her from his work, but doesn't say a single word.
Toews stares back at him, starting to get his message: She doesn't need his help...she has the power to do it herself. She IS the right hand ruler of the NHL.
Toews turns back to Luis with a grave look and lowered eyebrows. "I can do this." She then lets go of the ground; she flings over to Luis, hitting the smooth surface of his massive energy shield.
"I got you now!" Luis points out sinisterly.
"No you don't." She then places her hands on the surface and mentally directs her flow of energy to the palm of her hands.
The shield begins to flicker and glitch for a moment then all at once, it disappears from view.
"WHOA!" Since she was being held by the shield's fist and that is gone, she begins to free fall toward the ground. She immediately gains her composure and flies back up to be levelled with Luis's throne. Luis is now standing in front of his throne with nothing protecting him.
"What did you do?" he snaps harshly.
"Pushed you one step closer to your defeat," she points out matter-of-factly.
"No!" Luis then emits more thick ribbons of sunlight.
Toews takes the ribbons to the palm of her hands, cancelling them out with her powers, so they were disappearing once they made contact with her.
Luis notices that his powers aren't doing anything, so he stops the emission.
"What is happening?" he asks as he gazes at the palms of his hands with wide eyes.
"You're dealing with the right hand ruler of the NHL, who has Nigh-Omnipotence." She places her hands on her hips with a small smirk. "You know how powerful that is, right?"
El Jeffe stares up at her with huge eyes, starting to see the little hope the circumstance has to offer for him.
Toews begins to feel mighty power swirling up inside her, growing her confidence to do something powerful. "Now, I have something to say..." She takes in a deep breath a closes her eyes, focusing the rising boost of energy. "Let us gain victory and return everything back to normal."
Suddenly, a great rays of white light emits from Toews, deluging the whole room. Once the light has died down, all the fighting has ceased. That is because all El Chupacabras are now in linked handcuffs, right next to the front entrance of the building.
"Hey...!" Sidney begins to say, looking around the room. "We won! Now we can be happy and happy and happy and happy...!"
"Happy!" Tony reclaims as he halts next to Sidney, carrying a boombox and three cassette tapes.
"Meh." Jay rolls his eyes.
"Warum haben Sie ein Radio?" Müller asks Tony, pointing to the boombox. (Why do you have a radio?)
"Ohhh! Music!" Tony places a random tape into the boombox and presses play.
Gangnam Style by Psy begins to play.
Immediately, the ground beings to shake as the front wall bursts into a huge cloud of dust. Emerging from the dust is Buster, who is still in his guinea pig form. He grooves over El Chupacabras, not even noticing them. He is dancing to the music with his paws next to each other, close to his chin and rocking from side to side to the beat. He is even squeaking out the lyrics...well, only this part: "Whoap, whoap, whoap, whoap, whoapa Gangnam style!"
Chris, who is now in his regular size, begins cracking up. "OH MY GOOOOOOOSH!!!"
Bryce is having a difficult time fixing up his hair since the ground is shaking. "Stop. Shaking. The. Ground!" he grunts out.
Once the song ended, Buster stops shaking and transforms back to himself.
"I can talk!" Buster exclaims happily. He celebrates by hugging Chris and grumbling Bryce. "And I'm not fuzzy!"
Patrick gazes up, spotting Toews lowering himself down to the ground. "Tazer!" He runs up to him and pulls him into a hug.
"Kaner! I'm back to normal, I'm a guy again, yes...!" He hugs him back joyfully.
Patrick pulls away from him. "Um...what do you mean, man?" He asks with a confused look.
"Um, it's a long story...hehe..." He makes an embarrassed expression. He then turns to the right, spotting John next to El Chupacabras, conversing with a man with brown hair that has a gray tint to it.
"Hold up," Toews tells Patrick. He then strolls over the two. "John!" He turns to the man. "And...?"
"Robin van Persie, Master of the Good Players' of FIFA Society and Sheriff of the FIFA Police," he told him in a Dutch accent, flashing a badge at him.
"Ah!" He nods his head. "So, you're going to put these people in their rightful place?"
"Indeed!" He faces both of them. "And thank you, all of you, for your service of keeping the leagues safe!"
"My pleasure," John tells him with a nod of reverence.
"You're welcome!" Toews says with a smile.
"Now, I'll deal with these people." He looks down at El Chupacabras. "Oh!" He gazes back up at the two hockey players. "And from the leader of the League Leaders, Harry, there will be an event held in the League Leaders' headquarters that you should attend," Robin informs them.
"Alright, we'll be there," John tells him.
"Good. So long, Mr. Tavares and Mr. Toews."
"Thank you, Mr. Van Persie," John says back.
"Good-bye." Toews waves at him.
They then depart.