Heartless

Chapter 15

Pre-note: The last few chapters have torn my heart out and were miserable to write but it's all for the good of the story in the end, I guess TT-TT yeah, and the music thats linked over there goes with the chapter pretty well.

P.S. I will be making a restricted chapter for the smex scene bc one of my (dirty) friends requested so bc she didn't understand what had happened... -gags- but oh, how horrible I am at writing sex scenes TT-TT

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Axel's P.O.V.

I stood up, sick and tired of the new found loneliness that rose in my chest. I sighed, turning towards the edge of the building, clambering down to the ground and walking towards the hotel. I walked as slowly as possible, trying not to meet up with Roxas. I looked down at my feet the whole time, too sad and ashamed of myself to care if I ran into something. I was sad for Roxas leaving, ashamed for ever loving him in the first place.

I got to the hotel, walking up the stairs instead of using the elevator. When I reached my floor, I quickly backed into the shadows, hiding myself from view of Roxas who was walking out of our room. He had a look of guilt and pain on his face, his eyes puffy and red as if he had been crying. Part of me yelled "good! Let the jerk suffer" but the other part, the biggest one, sighed a melancholy "I wish he had stayed, maybe he wouldn't be so sad if he stayed."

 I watched as he slumped down the hall to the elevator, getting in and pressing the down button. As the door closed, I stepped out of the shadows, my heart heavy with grief. "Stupid heart, your not s'posed to exist. Go away." I mumbled, going into my room. I sighed deeply, letting my emotions show while I was alone.

I stared out of the window, watching as Roxas walked away from the hotel and towards the town, his matted blond hair a beacon to find him. Why was I feeling all these emotions heartless weren't ever supposed to have? And over my friend Roxas, a male, turning me down too... I was obviously going insane.

I ripped my eyes away from the window, not able to watch him walk away any longer. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to shut out the world as I slumped down on the edge of his bed. I lay my face in my hands, trying to keep my tears in with desperation. I fell back flat against the blankets, letting go of all my tears, letting them flow like small rivers down my cheeks. I lay there, staring up at the ceiling as I cried, my mind blank of everything except Roxas, drowning myself in my own misery. I couldn't stay here any longer.

I stood up, still crying, putting on a hoodie and pulling the hood up to cover my face. I walked out of the room and descendedthe stairs, leaving the hotel and walking into the streets. I walked, letting my feet decide where to go instead of my mind, wandering aimlessly. As I walked along, I suddenly noticed where my feet were carrying me: Saxion's house. I walked up the stairs to her porch, my knuckles pausing just before hitting her door. Did I really want to do this? It would hurt Roxas even more. I slowly turned around, walking back down the steps with tears in my eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Roxas more.

I walked away, slumping down the streets, looking for anywhere to go to keep out of Roxas's way. 'He didn't want me, then I won't be there to bug him' I thought, finding myself at the wall between the forest and Twilight town. I looked up at it, wondering where I could possibly stay. My mind drifted through places that could be possibilities and my mind settled on the abandoned mansion. I ambled through the forest, trying to find my way to the mansion.

Eventually, I found myself standing before the gates, looking up at the wrought iron, rusted and grey. I took one look at the locks and sliced through the rusty chinks with ease. Pushing the gates open, I walked through and into the mansion, climbing the stairs and to the left, to a door that seemed promising. I pushed them open and walked through, surprised to find Namine sitting at the table, drawing and her eyes full of tears. She looked up at me, smiling pitifully and returning to coloring her drawings. "Namine, why are you crying?" I asked, kneeling down by her chair with concern.

"I heard what happened with you and Roxas. Axel, I'm so sorry." she said, leaning down and wrapping her skinny arms around my shoulders. Tears swelled in my eyes too and I slipped my arms around her back. "It's not like it your fault. So stop crying." I said, trying to sound tough, the whole time I was really ready to burst. My eyes widened, realizing that she said she "Heard" what had happened. "Nami, how do you know what happened?" I asked, slightly suspicious. "Well, you do know I can see every nobody's memories. That's where all my drawings come from. I draw everyone's memories, hoping that they never forget." she said, her small frame shaking as she began to cry harder.

"Shh-sh-sh... Namine, stop crying. It's gonna be okay." I said, using those few empty words everybody uses when comforting another. "I-i know I'm j-just making things worse. It's not m-my place to cry." she said, laughing between tears. I rubbed her back, smiling slightly. "Namine, it's okay. Cry to your heart's content." I said, redy to do so myself, yet holding all the tears back. "N-no, Ax. You need to." she murmered, pulling away from me. I realized at her words how much I needed to let my emotions out, instead of bottleing them up like I normally do. I stared back at her, feeling my face get warm with tears, letting them fall freely.

I looked down, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to keep from sobbing. I heard Namine get out of her chair and felt her hands against my back. I shook, the force of my sadness pushing my tears out more. She knelt down by me, her hand on my shoulder. I pulled myself back together and looked up at her, wiping the tears off of my face. She smiled at me, her eyes full of pity, yet her smile full of hope. As if hope had any promise now that Roxas was gone.

"Do you need a place to stay?" she whispered, looking around as if she were looking for places for me. I nodded, the sense of dread returning to my chest. "I guess you could stay here. But I don't know where you'd sleep..." she said, standing and walking to the window. "I don't care where I sleep. I'll sleep on the floor." I said, needing to stay away from Roxas and my team for a while. She nodded, opening a dark corridor portal. "I need to go, Axel, but I'll be back tomorrow. Bye." she said, smiling then walking through.

Now to fight off my own Darkness for the rest of the night.

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