Kellin Quinn Imagines V2.0

You Dont Feel Good Enough

((((( AUTHORS NOTE: Requested by - xxNewGhostxx I hope you like it! XD )))))

~ TRIGGERING ~

You cry out as the blade cuts even deeper into your arm, the pain now overtaking the releasing relief you usually feel when doing such a thing as this. You take a deep breath and open your eyes before staring down at your wrists. So fucking stupid, you think to yourself, Kellin's gonna hate this, he'll leave for sure, the thoughts keep buzzing around your head, mentally unstable, stupid, fat and ugly bitch, you try to shut them out but its like the voices are in the bathroom with you, shouting at the top of their lungs, Not. Good. Enough. Thats the final straw, you stare up at the ceiling and close your eyes before slicing your wrist open again and again, hoping you'll hit a vein and bleed out before Kellin gets here. You slice randomly at your wrist for a solid minute before you open your eyes and look down at the wounds you have created, and when you do you cant help but scream. What the fuck did you do, you disgusting ungrateful bitch!?! Look at you! Pathetic! The voices screech inside your head.
"No, no, no!" You scream as the blood covers your arm. You had wanted to die before, but now it was difference: because you can hear Kellins car pulling up in the driveway. Frantically, you start scrambling around the bathroom, searching for a bandage, or SOMETHING to stop the bleeding.
"(Y/N) IM HOOOOME!!!" Kellin shouts as he drops his keys on the table beside the door, you're too busy scavenging to give him an answer. "(Y/N)?" Kellin asks, sounding worried.
Its no use, you cant find a bandage, this is how it ends. You slump against the wall of the bath and watch the blood dye the skin of your wrist red, there's already a deep red stain on your hoodie from where you've cradled it. You look like you just came out of a murder scene in a horror movie.
"(Y/N) answer me!" Kellin calls as he bounds up the stairs. You can practically imagine him reaching the top of the stairs and looking around the hall for you, then he notices the locked bathroom door and you hear him whisper "Oh my god! No! (Y/N)!" He's at the bathroom door in an instant, trying to beat it down with pure force as you've locked it from the inside. "(Y/N) LET ME IN! PLEASE!" You were shocked by his command, because you knew he was asking for you to both let him inside the bathroom, and let him back inside your life, because he knows that you've shut him out from this part of after it upset him so much when you told him last time, so you shut him out.
"I-I cant..." You whisper hoarsely, Kellin stops banging on the door to listen to you. "I...cant..."
"What do you mean baby? Why cant you open the door?" Kellin asks, his voice a lot softer now.
"Not enough...strength...not enough in...general..." You manage to explain, though you can feel yourself drifting off into unconsciousness.
"No baby! You are MORE than enough! You're perfect in every possible way, I love you so fucking much, please dont do this! I know I sound selfish but I dont want you to leave me! Please! I can help you through this, I promise, things will get better! Please baby, Im begging you! I cant live without you!" Kellin cries through the door.
"Its...too late...dying..." You choke out hoarsely as your head begins to feel remarkably heavy, you slide further down the side of the bath until you're lying down on the floor, you curl up into yourself.
"Dont die on me now babygirl, please! I wont let you die!" Kellin sobs before you hear him get his phone out and start typing, but suddenly everything sounds like its underwater. You close your eyes, just for a second, and when you wake up you can hear lots of different voices outside the bathroom. The pool of blood surrounding you has developed quite dramatically in size, and its seeping out underneath the door. You hear the guys shout in horror before they continue to try to break into the bathroom. You close your eyes again, and when you wake up you're in Kellins arms, tears running down his cheeks, his shirt and arms soaked in blood, your blood.
"Baby, please! Stay with me! C'mon! Open your eyes! Do something! Let me know you're still here, still fighting, please!" He breaks down and starts sobbing, you can see Justin in the hallway, also in tears, calling up an ambulance.
You use all your strength to lift your hand and stroke Kellins cheek. He gasps and grabs a hold of your hand, holding it against his cheek, turning to kiss it repeatedly. You take a deep and shaky breath "If...if this is the....end...I...have something...very...important...to tell...you."
"No! Its not the end! The ambulance are on their way! C'mon babygirl, stay with me!" Kellin cries.
You shake your head slightly "I dont feel...like I can...make it...Kels...so let me...just say that...." Before you can finish your sentence yours eyes roll back and close again, it seems like they closed for little more than a second before you open them again, but when you do the scene around you is completely different. You're now being wheeled towards an ambulance on a stretcher, Kellins hand around yours.
"I love you!" You whisper hoarsely, finishing the sentence that you had started what seemed like mere seconds before.
Kellin gasped "You're back! What did you say baby?" Tears are still rolling down his cheeks.
"The important...thing I...had...to stay...is that...I love you..." You whisper, Kellin moves his ear close to your mouth so he can hear you. He smiles tearily and kisses your lips lovingly.
"I love you too baby, but this is not the end, I promise you, you're going to be all better soon, and I will still be there, at your side, waiting for you." He kisses your hand, and you smile weakly at him, then your eyelids feel heavy again, so you close them.