Kellin Quinn Imagines V2.0

Closer

(((((( AUTHORS NOTE: Inspired by the pop song that fucking everyone knows at this point. Even mcr are jammin to this from beyond the grave tbh. Soz for the feels. Lmao. WHY AM I UPDATING SO REGULARLY I LITERALLY HAVE A SCIENCE TEST TOMORROW THAT IM SUPPOSED TO BE REVISING FOR RN BUT NO INSTEAD IM GONNA WRITE ABOUT KELLIN OK. Story of my life. XD ))))))

~ Kellins POV ~

Nick and I have decided to stay in a hotel tonight, rather than on the tour bus, because Jack, Gabe and Justin are having a party, and Nick and I arent really feeling up to that tonight. It's nearing the end of the tour now, all of our remaining energy is going into our concerts, we have literally no energy outside of that. We're the senior members of the band, after all. I dated someone once, years ago, she brought my spark back, and was always there to pick me up when I was down. She seemed to have limitless energy, up until she saw her bed at the end of the day, then she'd suddenly get so tired that she'd be stumbling around the room, drifting in and out of sleep, I was always the one to pick her up and place her in bed, before crawling in beside her and holding her as she fell asleep in my arms. Those were the good old days. Since then, I havent had a relationship like that, one that made me happy to get out of bed every morning, just because I knew I'd see her smile. She meant the world to me. But, that was a long time ago, and things are so different now.

We check into the hotel, and I find myself sort of in a daze, not really focussing on what's going on around me. Until Nick taps my shoulder, I didnt even know we were in an elevator.
"Are you ok?" He asks me quietly.
I nod "Yeah, fine, why?"
"You seemed really distant just now, somethin' on your mind?" Nick questions further.
I sigh "I honestly dont know man, I just feel...weird, I guess."
Nick shrugs "Probably just the end of tour tiredness kicking in, dont worry, you'll be back home soon!"
But what am I going home to? An empty, silent house? Can I even call that home?
"Yeah." I respond, not knowing what else to say.
As we exit the elevator, we share a bro-hug, before strolling down different ends of the hall to our separate hotel rooms. A man needs his privacy! Not for sexual reasons, or at least not in my case, I'll probably end up crying myself to sleep tonight, and Nick doesnt deserve to be stressed out by seeing me like that. I hate going home from tour. To go from being surrounded by my best friends, and the people that made my dreams a reality, all day everyday, to be able to receive hugs from people that actually love me, to feel like I fucking matter, to go home to a silent house, filled with nothing but furniture that will probably always seem brand-new and alien to me, a cold, lonely house, where the reality of my loneliness finally hits me? It fucking sucks. I wish I had something to go home to, something worth missing about home. Or someone.

My mind drifts back to my ex girlfriend, it still hurts to call her that, and how perfect our relationship once was. I can barely remember what happened, what ended us. All I can remember, is me moving to the city in a shitty car that broke down every hundred miles, and her heart being broken. I moved to the city to be closer to the rest of the band, because we were just starting to get noticed back then. My girlfriend and I tried to stay together, but the time difference and the distance between us was too difficult, and we slowly drifted apart, until one day I met a girl at a concert, who I, for some reason, thought was better than my girlfriend. I told my girlfriend about the other girl, she she broke up with me, saying I deserved better. So, I stopped talking to her, and tried to get with the girl from the concert, but it took me years to come to terms with what I'd done, what I'd left behind. Honestly, I dont think Im over her now, even after all these years. It's been four years since I've seen her gorgeous smile, heard her call my name in her adorable accent. God, what I'd do to see her again.