Kellin Quinn Imagines V2.0

Panic Attacks, OCD, And Feels

~ Kellins POV ~

Im sitting at home, blasting mcr throughout my entire house because Im home alone. Honestly, I would've happily gone out with my mom to the doctors, but I have priorities. Im 16 for fuck sake, Im allowed to choose music over going outdoors!

After reciting the intro to Na Na Na 8 times over, my mom texts me.

Mom: Hey Kelly!

Me: Mom, please stop calling me that

Mom: No! You are the fruit of my womb and I will call you whatever I want to!

Me: Whatever, whats up?

Mom: I was just texting to let you know that there's a beautiful girl, about your age, sitting opposite me in the waiting room right now. You'll probably fall in love with her instantly. Maybe you should come here to see her...

Me: Mom. Please stop trying to set me up with strangers my age. Im not looking for a relationship right now.

Mom: She's beautiful...

Me: Good for her. Im listening to music right now, so tell her I said hi if you've really gotta.

Mom: Alright, but before you go back to that, I just thought I'd let you know...she's wearing a My Chemical Romance shirt and black skinny jeans.

Me: ...

Me: I SWEAR TO GOD MOM IF YOU'RE LYING WITH ME IM MOVING OUT

Mom: Oh I wish I was

Me: YOU ARE SO CRUEL

Mom: Of course, I must be the cruelest mother in the universe to let you know when there's a fellow emo your age within 10 meters of me ;)

Me: ...WHATEVER, I AM RUNNING, AND IF THIS ANGEL YOU SPEAK OF IS NOT THERE I AM DISOWNING YOU BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A THING TO JOKE ABOUT

Mom: You'll see when you get here, hurry up!

With my music turned off, my shoes on and my jacket clinging to only one of my arms, I run down out my front door, down the street, towards the doctors. When I arrive, Im out of breath, and I practically fall into the seat beside my mother.
"Where is she?" I gasp quietly, catching my breath from all that exercise.
"You just missed her, she went into her appointment about 10 minutes ago, just as I told you about her clothing." My mother responds.
"I cant believe this." I stand up from my seat "You lied to me, just to get me out of the house."
"No I didnt! She really wa-"
"No she wasnt! She was never here! The chances of a girl like that being here are next to none, let alone her being single!" I argue.
"Kellin I really think you shou-"
"If there really was a gorgeous girl in this room, wearing a t-shirt with my favourite band on it, along with some black skinny jeans, she would never look at me twice anyway! I was stupid to ever show up here. Like any beautiful girl whatsoever would give me a second glance." I shake my head and start making my way out of the doctors.
"Wait!" Someone calls after me, a voice I dont recognise. I raise an eyebrow and turn around, to see a girl wearing an mcr shirt and black skinny jeans. She's considerably shorter than me, and seems very anxious to be talking to me right now. As I stare at her, her cheeks begin to flush a delicate pink. She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. "I heard you say that you were here to see a girl wearing a band shirt, and Im the only one that has been sitting in this room for the past hour that is wearing a band shirt. I dont know if you were talking about me, especially considering the girl you spoke of is apparently beautiful, and Im DEFINITELY not, but you really should have more confidence in yourself. You ran all the way here for a chance to see a girl wearing a shirt with your favourite band on it, and I happen to think that's adorable. Your style is on point, your hair is amazing, you're really good looking...girls dont give you a second glance, because they're unable to look away from you the first time they see you. Im too socially anxious to continue this, so Im gonna go, but I hope you find the girl you came here to see, it was nice to meet you."
My jaw drops as she walks past me, over to the front desk. DAT ASS! Sorry, sorry, focus Kellin DAMN. She picks up whatever she was proscribed, and then makes her way out of the building. I turn to my mom and the rest of the people here.
They ALL roll their eyes at me before shouting "GO AFTER HER!!!"
I grin and nod at them, before bolting out of the building, and running until Im standing in front of her. "You are the girl I came here to see. My mom texted me to tell me you were beautiful, and wearing an mcr shirt, which is why I showed up here. She said you were beautiful...but I never thought anyone could be as beautiful as you." I stare into her gorgeous eyes as her cheeks turn a violent shade of red, she stares down at the floor.
"Th-Thank you." Her hand tightens around her proscribed tub, I wonder whats inside?
I smile at her "No problem! Whats your name?"
"(Y/N)..." She stutters nervously, which I find adorable.
"Thats a beautiful name." I compliment her. Then my curiosity takes over "Are you ok? Why'd you go to the doctors today?"
We start to walk together, and Im so desperate to hold her free hand, but I cant.
"Oh, uh, its uh, nothing...dont worry." She didnt answer my first question in any way whatsoever.
"Are you ok?" I ask her again.
She takes a deep breath, but doesnt answer me.
I raise an eyebrow "(Y/N)?"
She doesnt say a word, then she stops walking completely.
I turn and stand in front of her again, to see tears rolling down her cheeks. My heart aches at the sight of her.
"Oh my god (Y/N), whats wrong!?!" I ask her, desperate to help her.
She shakes her head at me, but still doesnt say anything. I begin to get mildly frustrated, until I notice it. Her knuckles are white as she clutches onto her proscribed stuff, whatever it is, she's shaking, and I cant hear her breathing anymore. Oh god.
I bend down slightly and gently unclamp each of her fingers from her proscribed medication. I place it on the ground without looking at it, respecting her privacy, and then I take her hands in mine. Without being able to stop herself, she grips onto my hands, she's so scared.
I stare into her eyes "Close your eyes (Y/N), close them for me, c'mon, you can do it, just close your eyes." She tries to breathe, and when she fails, more tears roll down her cheeks, then she closes her eyes. "Picture a door, any door you like, a kind door, a happy door, are you picturing it? Squeeze my hand if yes, as you cant talk right now." She squeezes my hand, I nod "Now imagine yourself opening that door, and imagine it leads you to your favourite place. Walk through the door, are you in your favourite place?" She squeezes my hand again, I continue "Imagine your favourite person in the world waiting for you there, smiling at you, taking your hand and helping you sit down. Breathe in the smell of the air around you, what does your favourite place smell like?" I ask her.
(Y/N) takes a deep breath in "It smells like...harvest, wet grass, the wind..."
"Breathe out, what do you see around you?" I continue.
She breathes out "Uh...fields, Im sitting in a field, on top of a pile of hay bails, from when I was a kid. I can see the fields around me. It rained recently, so I can smell the wet grass, and I can see it too."
"How did you find this place?" I ask her.
"When I was a kid, I used to go on walks a lot by myself, trying to discover a place of my own, some privacy in the outdoors. I was just walking through some fields, along the pathway, when I saw this pile of hay bails. As someone who has never been much of a risk taker, I wasnt sure about it at first. But I plucked up the courage to climb them, and I sat on the top of the highest bail, I felt the wind, heard the birds, and that was when I knew I'd found my happy place. Its been years since I've been there, my anxiety and OCD restricts me from leaving the house for anymore than an hour and 20 minutes. My appointment ran late today, and by the time I got out here, my time was up, thats why I had a panic attack." She opens her eyes and stares at me "Nobody has ever been able to help me like that before. When you asked me to picture me favourite person holding my hand, the only person I could think of was you. You are the only person that knows how to calm me down. Thank you, so much." The beautiful (Y/N) hugs me tightly, and I cant help but smile.
"Anytime doll." I have something else to ask her "What are your tablets for?"
"My anxiety, they're stress relief tablets or something like that, I dont really know if Im honest, they dont do me much good. They dont stop panic attacks, they just make me more chilled out. They're nowhere near as helpful as you." She explains.
I laugh slightly "Thanks! Can I walk you home, and maybe get your number?" I pull away from her to pick up her tablets and pass them to her, she smiles at me and takes them.
"Of course, I'd love that." (Y/N) has such a gorgeous smile.
After hearing her story of plucking up the courage to climb those hay bails, I make the courageous decision to take her hand as we walk, and lace my fingers with hers, I can see her blushing in the corner of my eye.
"Tomorrow, Im going to take you back to those hay bails, and we'll sit there together, for longer than an hour and 20 minutes, because you deserve more than that, and your OCD shouldnt be the boss of you. Im going to try my best to help you as much as I can, I'll always be here for you." I tell her.
She giggles "Considering Im still outside of my house now, after an hour and 20 minutes, Im pretty sure that I could spend as much time as I want outside, as long as you're there."
I grin at her "Im totally ok with that!"

Years later, here we are, sitting on those hay bails, watching the sunset. (Y/N) wearing her gorgeous white dress, me wearing my tux, and both of our hands clinging to each other, the rings now on our fingers, and wide smiles on our faces, as the photographer takes the photos that we will treasure, always.