Clara Black. Harry Potter's Cousin

Chapter 6

I learned navigating around Hogwarts is practically impossible.

First up, the staircases, there are one-hundred and forty-two in all at Hogwarts. And all of them are a pain in the ass, to use Mom's choice words. Some go someplace else on a certain day, some have vanishing steps you have to remember to skip, and the rickety ones make you feel like you're going to fall off and die. 

Next up doors, Some won't open unless you ask nicely, some you had to tickle in the precisely correct spot. 

Finally, it was hard to remember where crap is in this place. Everything moves around. People in paintings visit one another, staircases move, and I swear those suits of armor can walk. Harry agrees with me.

Peeves is the worst. You better hope and pray you don't run into him on your way to class. I guarantee you'll be late by at least ten minutes. He'd drop trash cans onto your head , or throw chalk at you, or pull rugs out from under you, or worst of all- sneak up on you, invisible, and grab your nose screeching, "Got your conk!"

Equal to- or possibly worse- is Argus Filch, the caretaker. Harry, Ron, and I had managed to get on his bad side when he found us trying to get into the out-of-bounds door on our first morning, but we didn't know! We were just lost! Luckily, Professor Quirrell saved us as he was passing by. 

Filch has a cat. He calls her Mrs. Norris. That cat is a freaking snitch. Students, me included, have the dearest ambition of giving her a good kick to the face. While normally I'd be against animal abuse, this time I'll make an exception. It's not like she doesn't deserve it. 

Once you actually made it there, there was the class itself. Magic is a lot harder than Mom makes it look, whenever she whips out her wand for something. 

Astrology was pretty cool because it feeds my night owl habits. Every Wednesday at midnight, I'm on the roof of the Astrology Tower learning the names of stars and the movements of the planets. I mostly look for the constellations. The Great Dog was my favorite, because it made me think of Dad. Three times a week we have to go behind the school, where the greenhouses are, for Herbology. After all, I always wanted to get eaten by a magical plant!

The most boring, and my least favorite, was History of Magic. It had the potential to be fun, if Professor Binns didn't lead the class. He just drones on and on as we take notes, or sleep if you're me, with no sign of stopping. 

Professor Flitwick teaches Charms, and he's a midget. He has to stand on a pile of books just to see over the top of his desk. He started his very first lesson by taking roll. When he reached Harry's name, he gave an excited squeak and toppled out of sight. I almost busted a rib with my laughter. 

Professor McGonagall on the other hand was strict and very clever. I was right in my assumption that I shouldn't cross her. She gave us a talking-to the minute we sat in our first class.

"Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts," That peaked my interest. Complex and dangerous is my style. The harder it is to pull off, the more fun I have. That's why my pranks are so complicated. "Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned."

Then she turned her desk into a pig and back again. Unfortunately, we wouldn't be getting to that for years. Instead I turned a match into a needle with no problems. In fact, I was second to do, right behind Hermione Granger. 

Defense Against the Dark Arts is a joke. Well, Quirrell's lessons were. I have a feeling that Mom should teach this class. It be a lot more fun and I know I'd actually learn something.

It's Friday now, I'm sitting in the Great Hall, waiting on the boys to come down, as I nibble on some toast and kippers. 

When they finally arrive, they had broad grins on their faces.