eye contact//d.o.b

VI

august 26, 2002

tatum
today's his birthday. the first birthday of his we won't spend together. as of now he probably has other friends that he cares for. i've been trying so hard to forget him, but nothing seems to work. my bedroom is almost completely empty from all of the things he gave me that i put away.

without him here i've focused more on school work. not that it's a bad thing but i would rather him be here.

my mom had an idea for me to call him and wish him a happy birthday but I'm not going to, if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore then i won't give him the satisfaction of being torn apart by his disappearance

soccer practice was over and i was walking home with marissa. we've hung out a lot more and i love that we have a lot in common. since we were all sweaty and hot from practice we just jumped right into my pool once we got home.

she stayed for dinner and then unfortunately she had to leave because school started in less than a week.

i was about to go get ready to sleep, but unfortunately family wanted to wish him a happy birthday so i had to sit in on the call.

"hey!" his mom greeted from the other side of the phone. we all said hello in response

"can we talk to dylan?" my dad asked

"mhm, let me just get him" she spoke "dylan!"

"yes mom" you heard in the background, and you couldn't help but tear up and lean into nate.

nate rubs my shoulder while they sing happy birthday.

"thank you guys!" he cheers from the line.

"oh your welcome sweetie" my mom smiles

"is, sh- i'm coming" he spoke into the phone "i'm sorry guys but my friends are arriving for my party, but i'll call soon, bye" he said before he hung up.

with that my family gave me the look. "why didn't you sing with us?" my dad questioned

"because i'm not going to sing happy birthday to a boy that doesn't want to talk to me" i said and with that i went upstairs to bed.

when i was laying in bed trying to fall asleep, i thought about him, and right before i fell asleep i mumbled something hoping that wherever he is in New York he'll hear me.

"happy 11th birthday dylan"

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november 7, 2002

tatum
the first birthday of mine that he's missing. i didn't bother to sing to him on his birthday so i'm not getting my hopes up for him to sing, when his family calls me.

the soccer season was almost over and we were the highest scoring team in the county. next week we go to states and then if we win states we go to country. it's so nerve racking because i'm in a starter position along with marissa. she plays center defense, while i play forward. without us i don't think we would have made it to the highest in the county, to move onto states.

i had just finished my shower when my mom calls me downstairs.

"honey they want to sing happy birthday to you!"

i sat down next to my brother, while they sang happy birthday. i could tell he didn't even bother to open his mouth, so once they were done singing i thanked them and said i would call them soon.

i opened my presents from my family and marissa. i got a camera from my brother, and laptop from my parents, and a new phone case from marissa. i thanked them all, and then marissa was picked up to go home.

i laid in bed wondering whether or not he was laying in his bed too.

dylan
after we sang happy birthday to her i went upstairs to go to bed. after i brushed my teeth and changed my clothes i laid down and tried to fall asleep. before i fell asleep i mumbled the words;

happy 11th birthday tatum

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love you babes💋