I slept well. For once..I did. And I think the only reason that happened was because of the man beside me. Nate. I felt weak still. The initial shock had been replaced by numbness and denial over night. And I knew it wasn't healthy. I laid in my friend's arms all night, and slept peacefully. He was warm and big, comforting. And I..liked that. I liked it a lot.
I opened my eyes, remembering how two days ago, I had woken up seeming fine.
But I wasn't. I'm still not.
I leaned up, pain in my abdomen making me collapse back onto the bed.
But it wasn't only that, that made me fall back. I laughed to myself as I looked down at big, tan arms locked around me, Nate's head rested on my chest peacefully. I relaxed, remembering our conversation from last night. And I smiled at him, twisting his dark locks in my fingers, and gliding my fingertips across his face.
I opened up, I'm not a loner anymore.
And I feel closer to him, more then anyone I've ever encountered.
I'm scared, I realized. Scared of commitment.
But what was I even committing to? We aren't in an intimate relationship.
I'm committing to my feelings. Accepting them. My fingers stopped as I sucked in a breath.
I tried moving my legs, to get out of bed. But our legs were almost interlaced under the burgundy duvet. My bed was big for me, but for a burly Titan plus me..it was cramped. He made up for it, I realized, by keeping his body molded to mine.
I need to get up. I feel trapped. My mind raced and I felt claustrophobia coming on.
Re-fucking-lax! I yelled at myself, It's Nate. Only Nate. I know who this is. This isn't Cabal, or Thrall trying to climb up my body and devour me..
I closed my eyes as I separated from Nate slowly, voices becoming apparent again. And my head hurt once more.
I turned on my side and scooter closer to him, giving in.
I tucked my head under his chin, pulling the covers over us so I was warm and glued to his being. I feel his hair on my cheek and I breathed in his man-smell.
The voices stopped again. And my head was silent.
I looked up, and shifter closer. Pressing my lower body to his and intertwining our legs. My hand pressed to his cheek.
This was more physical contact then I had ever allowed myself. I was comfortable. But not uncomfortable either. I looked across his face, studying his appearance. The dark circles have faded somewhat now that he's rested.
And not worrying about me...
I felt guilt scratch at my brain, then I pushed it back. I have no reason to feel guilty, what happened to me.. My thoughts paused as Nate shifted, wrapping his arms around me as I tensed.
Is he awake? I retracted my hand, placing both on his chest as I curled into his heat.
"Morning, Rine." I fisted his shirt into my hands and my eyes flew open, and my heart stuttered.
Please. Please, don't let him have been awake the entire time.
I leaned away, looking at him. His brown eyes were tired and smiling.
"Nate." I murmured quietly.
"I like it when you get closer, and I know that you haven't done it before but..I want you to know I understand."
YOU ARE READING
Watch As We Burn
AdventureThe year 2761, after the collapse, the Last City on Earth is only protected by the Traveler, and the Guardians. When the Darkness corners us from all angles, encasing us, closing in on us, morphing us. Evolving us...the only way to break away, is to...