He didn't want to think about what was happening. It hurt but it pleased. It would be better to think about something else...something else that didn't hurt. If he closed his eyes, maybe he could think about a nice thing. Something nice that didn't hurt...maybe a nice place with trees and flowers.
Maia liked flowers.
We'll have more young. Master promised.
Swallowing hard, Harry opened his eyes and concentrated on the floor. Four tiles...four tiles were where his arms were. Elbows rested on two, his hands on two more. His head rested over the fifth one, but every few seconds his head would be pushed out over a sixth one and then pulled back. Six tiles. Six grey tiles.
It hurt.
/Don't let him do this! Stand up and fight!/
It hurt awfully.
It pleases our Supero. We must do as he pleases.
"I don't think you really want this," Muroch panted as he shoved into him again. "I think you want one of the others instead, right?"
Harry's eyes widened and, no matter how much it hurt, he pushed back, trying to please. From the satisfied grunt behind him, Harry believed he had done well in doing so. He would do anything to not go back to any of the wolves. They didn't just force him into sex...they punished him for that day in the forest. They punished him for the Magical Beings Protection Act. They punished him because he was an Indago. No matter what, there was nothing he could do to please them...to get them to stop hurting him.
Muroch was different. He made it hard to obey sometimes, but if Harry didn't listen to that other voice, the mean voice, then he would be okay. He just had to please his Supero and then he wouldn't be hurt.
/We're being hurt now! He's hurting us on purpose!/
Maybe when Muroch declared Harry's training over, he could help Muroch learn how to have intimate relations without pain. The other Indago probably just didn't know how to do it. Harry could help him and then maybe be rewarded.
/Draco never hurt us!/
Yes, he did. Draco hurt us. All Superos hurt if we do not obey. Our past dominant was no different.
/Draco loved us!/
Harry now knew that that was a lie. Draco had only been a dominant. He had done his job, but not well. That was why Muroch had to train Harry now. He had to teach Harry how he was supposed to behave. He said he didn't want to punish Harry, but Draco had not done it right so it was really Draco's fault that Harry had to be punished.
And Draco didn't want him back. He never came to get Harry.
Muroch had sent an owl to Draco telling him that he would fight him for Harry. But Draco never came. He never came.
/He was lying! That bastard never sent an owl! He couldn't have!/
But Harry knew that no matter what, Draco didn't love him. He remembered their fight that night. He remembered Draco saying that he hated Harry...was going to kill Harry. No...there was nowhere for Harry to go. He had failed as a parent when he had tried to kill Maia, which even now made him hate himself more than anything. He had failed as a spouse when he had betrayed his husband, which disgusted him when he thought of the things he had done behind Draco's back. He should be grateful that Muroch was willing to fix him and make him a better Indago...the perfect subicio.
He would be the perfect subicio. Then he would at least have something.
*-*-*
Hands clawed through the mess that was atop Draco's head. He couldn't remember if he had brushed his hair or not. It didn't really matter as he read one more reply letter stating the same thing the others had stated: No one had ordered anything that Muroch would need for the liquid potion. Another dead end.
