Everything from that point on began to zoom by. My training was easier and rapidly giving me the strength I needed. My mother and all those that had been severely affected by the visit of The Darkness, were all well healed and resuming their daily activities.
It felt as if, my life, my destiny was tired of waiting for what was to come. As if something deep inside of me was pushing me to succeed so that it could break out of its dark prison inside me. I was stronger, more confident, and above all....... fearless. I was ready to take on The Darkness. The thing that took me the longest was coming to terms with the fact that Christophe was gone and never coming back. He was not the one I was fighting. I was fighting the creature that he set free unkowingly.
Rade and I had been training every day for two and a half weeks. I was finally able to take extreme shocks from him and had learned that I was capable of taking any form of external gift and absorb it, forming light in it's place. My body was just a generator for light and goodness, all I needed was something to give me the push.
My once friend had set something free, that I had to take care of. I vowed the day after it's visit that I would never let anyone that I know get hurt again. I was going to do this by myself. In ten days I am going to venture out to find The Darkness and destroy it once and for all so that it can never hurt anyone ever again. I needed to do this so that I could feel as if I had not caused any of this. How could I, the holder of the crest of light, let my best friend open the container of such a horrible thing.
I felt as if I had not given Christophe everything that I could to help steer him from the path that he went down. I lost him somewhere, and I can't seem to pinpoint where. He was such a happy child and he lost his way. Darkness snuck it's way into him and latched on so tight that not even I could release him from the grasp. I could not help but feel as if it was partially my fault for not trying harder.
I had constant feeling of what if. What if I had talked to him more? What if I had spent more time with him? What if I had given him more? But all it did was make me wish for a time traveling gift. I wanted to fix everything that I felt I had or had not done that lead him down the path to where he is now.
All I could think of though is what my mother had said about the way I was feeling.
"You can not dwell on the past for there is nothing anyone can do about it." she said. "What is done can not be undone, we all make our seperate choices that not one others choice has an affect on. We are individual just grouped together. We are all different and yet all the same. You did what you could and you saved the best part of him inside your heart."
Her words ran through my head constatly. I had the part of him that made him who he was. I had the part that I became friends with, but that doesn't do anything for me here and now. I was alone with no friend that was truly familiar. I was practically alone here. I had my family and my new friends, but I would give so much to have one more fun afternoon with him and tell him all my troubles.
I wanted my friend back.
