Ferocious Flames

who am i again?

" natsume" I shouted as i woke up.my eyes narrowed with my own self disgust. How could I let him... Ah...it's hard to even say. I've hated myself for being so fragile and vulnerable that time and that too to him. Ah...Natsume!! Well, the morning was especially spoiled. the only thing that could make it worse was if dad would have heard me shouting his name. Thank god he was not here. He'll be coming at evening.it was strange for dad to leave me.infact it was the first time I was living by myself. Even after the fact that I was alone and I had so much work to do but still the nightmare had been stuck all throughout the activities. Almost 5 years have passed since then but these dreams just keep on coming randomly at any day out of blue. When will I get rid of this?!
I went to school and it was a typical day if I ignore his thoughts. My day passed typically in the almost last bench of the classroom trying to concentrate in lessons. After the school got over i went to the library to see Mrs karp. It had been sort of a routine for me to visit her everyday. After he left away, while I was still waiting for him, i filled the vacancy of my life with books. She sort of inspired me. Even when her son was away she would smile and help others. If she wouldn't have been there then I would have been insane by now. I used to Talk to her about so many things. She always succefully distracted my mind everytime. She was aware about my feelings though I never told her. She knew what I needed. I don't know but I sort of always thought that she was aware of my relationship with natsume. After spending like the whole evening talking with her I realized that I've to go home as dad would be there in an hour. I left the library and ran towards home. It was dark now and the roads were wet because of the rain and so I took a shortcut. When I was passing through a narrow Street someone grabbed my wrist and pushed me towards the wall. What the heck?! Now what's this?! Now this guy who held me was now at my back and for some reason I could hear him smiling.
"usui ema" he said as his smile widened. Just to tell me my name he held me?!
"what do you want?" I asked him calmly. The only thing that made me anxious was that dad must be waiting for me and he's really a worrier.
"I want you." his smile widened more.
"yeah boss, I've got her!" he sounded proud for his work as he told him in the phone. I heard another unfamiliar voice across the other side of the phone, he was this person's boss.
"good. Bring her to me real quick "
"yeah" this guy said and then he kept his phone on his pocket.
I kicked him away while his another hand was busy in his pocket.. Now I turned towards him to see his face but I didn't find and familiarity.
"take it easy ema. Now that's good that rhyuzakki is out of town. Now he won't disturb us. So no need to cry,okay. Oh sorry. I'd just forgotten that you can't even cry!"
How on earth does this person know about my disability ?!the way they found out my name they would have found out my dad's name as well but the fact that he knew about this made me curious about this man.not only curious but made me uncomfortable as well.Who is he? Only dad, me and ah...he knew. I've faint memories of this incident. It was maybe when  Someone was burning alive in front of me. Another women who was about to get burn shouted out my name. She was crying and I too called out for her. She was now burning and I cried and tried to go to her but a dangerous looking man held my hand. He gave me gesture that if I don't behave properly I'll be burnt too. So, i just cried. I wanted to call out for that women. I don't know now who she was. I don't remember her name at all but that time I wanted to call out for her so desperately. And then she turned to absolute nothingness. And I cried Silently as i couldn't shout because of that man. Then somehow I was saved. I try to recall that scene but I just can't remember it. Maybe because I don't wanna recall it maybe I was too small that time. since then I've been afraid of fire so much though I didn't know who was getting burnt and I couldn't cry anymore even though I've forgotten why I was crying. Dad did push me to face my fear of fire or compel me to cry but he ended up nowhere with me. He had given up long since. We both never talked about it though none of us can forget that but we never talked about past.
"who are you?" I asked.
"I don't think you should really care about that. Just come with me ema. "
"shut up!!" I shouted.
" don't shout. Just come with me." he said while coming closer.
"go away!"
"you're not safe here ema. You need to go away before your dad comes to the town." he kept his hande on my shoulder and I pushed him at once. I know he was talking bullshit so I knew I had to run away. So I just ignored him and headed back to home. He grabbed me from behind. Now I couldn't move my hands so I gave him jerks but he had held me so tightly. He didn't leave though I had attacked him so many times. Why was he so desperate to have me? I felt so helpless.
"let me go!!" I shouted helplessly. Everytime I got rid of him he grabbed me again.
"don't make it harder for me, ema!"
"let me go!!!" I shouted with all my might.
"just stay calm. We can make it work" his voice was no longer calm. I can't deal with him like this!
"what do you want from me?" I asked when I had calmed myself.
"it's for you.." His hold around me had become weak. I could now easily kick him and get away but I just turned face to face to him.
"at least tell me who asked you to bring me?"
"ryo -sa--"