Crestfallen • Jeonghan [2]

3

| Fall, 2006 |

"Let's talk about happiness today! Amelia, why don't you tell us what happiness is to you?"

"...My happiness?"

"Yes, of course darling,"

"My happiness is....my parents."

• • • • •

Lia

"Noona, you have to get up." Hansol shakes me, and I pulled the blanket over my head, telling him to go away.

Hansol sighed. These days, he's been telling me to wake up early, he wouldn't bother to leave me alone even for a second.

"Noona wake up, we promised to pick up Seungcheol hyung at the airport today." Hansol pulled the blanket away and threw it to the other side of the room. I hissed at the cold air.

"Go alone!" I say.

"No. You're coming with me, Seungcheol hyung told me to make you come." Hansol says sternly, and starts picking my clothes for me that were in my closet.

Why should I come?

It's not like Jeonghan would come back.

Fuck you Lia, snap out of it.

Hansol left, telling me to get ready in half an hour while he picks up some breakfast for us.

I pushed myself out of bed, forcing myself to go get a shower.

Its been a year after Jeonghan left. Lots happened, of course. Everything changed. And I don't like changes.

After the performance the other day, some of the boys got accepted into a few companies, Hoshi now runs a dance academy, and Woozi works as a producer, Seokmin helps him often too. I'm happy for them.

China line became really famous in Hongdae, they would always perform by the streets at night.

Maknae line graduated, Chan is currently in his last year of highschool. He didn't change much, that kid is still small and cute, but he's growing.

Meanie was... well, meanie.

Seungcheol hyung was a successful businessman because of dad's cafe, he's getting busier these days, going overseas and all.

I changed the most, of course.

I didn't look the same. My colours disappeared, and I wasn't depressed, I was angry. The fact that I'm still not over Jeonghan leaving made it worse. I keep telling myself to just fucking move on but for some reason I just can't.

Because of this stupid anger that's flaming in my heart and it just hurts.

Nobody knew the reason why I was in the hospital. I couldn't remember either. Seungcheol hyung went to search for me, and he found me on the rooftop, soaked in rain and I already blacked out.

And Jeonghan, of course he was still alive, wasn't he? Maybe what I saw, it was just an illusion.

About the letter, nobody knew about it except maknae line. They helped me a lot. Hansol accidentally read the letter that Jeonghan wrote when I dropped it at the hospital. And then he knew why I was so fucking moody all the time.

We got into a fight one day, him telling me to get over it already. I fought back saying that this wasn't over unless Jeonghan faces me to say all of this.