the first time // cth

first 'sorry' and 'i love you'

 january 18th 2016

it had been exactly a week since calum had started the stupid, unnecessary fight with ariana and he never felt so pathetic and horrible in his entire life. 

he thought that they would never have a fight like that, yet he was the one that caused it. 

he didn't know what came over him as he would never usually act like that, and anyone that knew calum would know that it was so unlike him. 

he was too scared to go over and talk to ariana, he knew that he messed up big time but he didn't know what he could possibly say to fix this mess. he knew that he couldn't just show up out of nowhere and act like nothing happened because a lot happened. 

calum didn't even go out that night because as soon as she left he knew that what he had said was wrong, so he did what he does best. he lay in bed and felt sorry for himself. for how messed up his life was, and how nothing ever seemed to work out for him. 

he tried blaming himself for everything bad that happened him - maybe it was his fault that his mother and father could never get along. maybe he annoyed them so much that they took it out on each other because they literally couldn't take it out on him. 

he thought about all the hurtful things that he had said to ariana - things that he would never even say to someone who he wasn't close with, nevermind his girlfriend, the one girl that he loved other than his mother. 

after a week of moping around and thinking about all the different things he could say when she opened her front door, he decided to wing it and just say what came to his head when, or if, she decided to let him speak. 

half an hour later and he was standing waiting for someone to open the door, he felt like he was going to pee his pants because he was that nervous. but he had wasted too much time and nothing was going to keep him from apologizing today, it had to be today. not any longer. 

the door finally opened and ariana's head peaked out from the tiny gap - she stared at him for a few moments before opening the door fully and stepping to the side, letting calum enter her house without any of them speaking yet. 

she lead him to her bedroom, closing it behind her in fear that there would be another argument, which she wouldn't want her father to hear. 

"look ari, i am so sorry. i really don't know what came over me but you know that i'm not like that. i was just in a bad mood that day, my mum told me that my dad was seeing another woman who has a boy the same age as me, i felt jealous because it's pretty obvious that he has already forgot about me. i took it all out on you and i shouldn't have. i'm such a prick and i can promise you that i will never say anything like that to you ever again," he paused for a quick breath before continuing, " i love you ariana. so much." he finally whispered. 

calum had felt this way for a few months now and he finally admitted it. he wanted it to be more romantic and possibly at a time when they weren't fighting but he felt like he had to tell her - to make her realise how sorry he was and how much he did love her. 

"i know that you would never act like that, i've known you for seven months and you have never disrespected me. i just wish you would have explained to me a little sooner, i was so scared that you didn't want to date me anymore." ariana said quietly as tears began to run down her cheeks. she hated how she always seemed to cry in these situations, but she couldn't help it, she was such a sensitive person.

calum walked over to her slowly and put his hands on her waist, as they stared into each other's eyes, "i would never break up with you baby, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me." he whispered as he wiped the tears away from ariana's face. 

"i love you." ariana finally cried as she clung onto calum, as if she was scared that he was going to disappear again for another week. 

calum cupped her cheeks, "i missed you so much." he confessed as he moved a little closer to her so their lips could touch, softly, lovingly. 

calum was ariana's first love, 

and ariana was calum's first love in return. 

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