Infinity.

Chapter-7: School. Of Thoughts

Somehow Adriana managed to go through the English literature class with no punishments. Her mind was restless. They were not asked a single question and not given any objection because the principal was absent. But still like a criminal's mind, Adriana's one was always alert as if she was going to be summoned just the next moment.

As soon as the Bell rang, the students were on their feet and pushing out of the classroom like blood from a stabbed man's gut. Adriana reached her locker and opened it. The things were arranged neatly so much in contrast with herself; she was disheveled and everything seemed messed up.

Adriana didn't remember putting everything back into the locker. She didn't remember her path to the canteen. But then she found herself overlooking the busy hall with rows of benches and students.

Was I sleepwalking?

But she was not asleep of course. Her mind was in a state of unrest. It was all tumbled, turned and twisted inside. She was now afraid to ask herself what she felt because each question brought forth a riot of answers and she was scared of riots. For maybe the first time, Adriana felt the need of emptying her mind to someone. Of telling someone what she felt like. And painting her emotions in the minds of the listener.
Lunch hardly appealed to her in her present state. Usually she used to have lunch on the bench in the first row and eat with herself as she didn't really think it safe to talk while eating. The epiglottis could malfunction at any time. And her introvert nature was the cause why she didn't really have someone to talk to. She considered Kim but how could she tell Kim that she hates her because of her boyfriend. Moreover, Kim's name brought angry thoughts into her mind.

Her steps led her to the end of the bench of the third row and she found Diana in front of her with a spoon in one had and a book on the other. She immediately noticed Adriana and patted a empty spot beside her.

"Come on here."

Adriana complied. She kept looking at Diana. The words were trying to flow but stopped just at the mouth.
Diana was a smart girl. She could see the lines of stress on Adriana's face.

"Is something wrong?" she asked politely.

Adriana just nodded.

"Are you in love with Sebastian Roberts? Is that what is wrong?"

How does she know. Adriana felt panicky and stared at Diana with a bewildered visage. Her shock was clearly evident at this breach of privacy.

"Whoo... Who to..ld you?" Adriana managed to squeak.

"I have my eyes, for all the generosity of the lord above, and I have my wits."

What on earth is she saying? Adriana's brain was incapable of processing any information. Her puzzled eyes revealed her apparent confusion.

"I realised it today. In the bus. The way you looked at him gave away your feelings for him. I know a thing or two about love myself. I saw the spark that glazed when you had your eyes on his. So you are the one who told me actually. You just did not say anything. It's amazing how much you can say without saying, isn't it?"

But the explanation further aggravated the matter and the shadow of doubt loomed brighter than light. Adriana didn't know what to say. She just knew she had to tell something to Diana but she was not sure what it was. She kept staring at her in astonishment.

Diana sighed and went back to eating and reading. Adriana sighed too and finally broke her stare. She looked downwards.

"So tell me more about it." Diana queried.

Adriana hesitated for a bit an then said,"I don't know what to tell. It's so tangled."

Silence spoke for a moment.

"You know what?", Adriana started.
"It's just a feeling. It tingles. And it aches when I see him kissing. Someone else. When I see him... when I see him, there is this explosion of Red love and the blue of his eyes inside me. It's strange! The colours never mix though. Never form voilet. They are distinct and immiscible. It's so colourful. The two ends of the spectrum together."

Diana listened in silence. The book was closed by then.

"I have been thinking a lot recently", continued Adriana."I have been thinking about many things. I find the colour thing very interesting. How colours represent things. Like they were made for a emotion itself. I formed a theory kind of thing. Like red being the colour of the uncontrolled. Like Red love, Red anger. Uncontrollable emotions. And blue being the colour of calm, control. Black probably represents the mind. The colour we see during birth and during death. The colour of the universe. The colour unending space. The colour... of infinity."

Adriana felt a little light now. She allowed herself a smile. Diana looked pensive.

"Doesn't black mean bad?" Diana couldn't resist asking.

"Depends on perspective actually. I'd you want it to be bad then so be it. It's your mind. But I prefer it to represent infinity. Half full, half empty kind of thing."she explained. "At the end of the day all that doesn't matter. It's just you. There are two possibilities. Either all this was made to be. All this was planned or nothing was planned and everything is just happening on its own due to a random order of events. I choose to believe the second one. Red, blue, black, they are just colours. They mean nothing else than rays of light with the same uniform wavelength. But our mind transforms it, creates emotion out of it. It's just us."

Adriana no longer felt trapped in the web of confusion. She felt slightly free.

"But I do believe we were meant to meet!" She cried out softly.

Diana smiled. Her eyes smiled too this time. Her brown eyes.

Brown is the colour of friendship. Adriana decided in her head.