Spice - Jensen Ackles x Reader (High School AU)

Part 7

The rest of the days went by uneventfully. The morning you woke up you found Jensen there where you left him on the kitchen an almost empty bottle of whiskey in his hands and it didn't even surprise you on where he had found it, nor that he was able to drink so much of that heavy drink. He had taken on many habits the last years after all – you scoffed at the thought – and just walked by him without even sparing a glance.

Or basically you did. Call it out of curiosity or (even if you did not want to admit it) worry you did look at him for just a second and even if your heart was in pieces from remembering all those events that happened all that time ago, it still did break in a thousand more pieces. He looked tired as hell, probably having stayed up all night and drinking, his face tired and as if he would pass out any given moment. But it was not just his physical condition that caused a pang in your chest but the second he sensed you there and looking at him he looked up and locked eyes with yours. The pain written all over them made your regret everything you had said, even if you knew you were saying the truth.

But you shook it all off. You put on a hard face and hid that it was affecting you even in the least bit. You looked at him with a cold look that only made him scrunch his eyebrows even more, pain filling his eyes as they reflected his soul. You wanted to scoff again at that thought. He felt no pain, no regret, nothing. That was what you would keep repeating to yourself that morning as you made breakfast for the guys and tried to avoid his pleading eyes. He just wanted to play with you again. That was it. Or at least you wanted to make yourself believe that. You did not want to be hurting again. Finally after so much time you had managed to be able to fall asleep and not wake up crying. You were not going back to that, you were determined.

You were only thankful for all of the guys making jokes and teasing you, just to get your mind off the green-eyed teen and the kicked-puppy look on his face. And it got even more worrying when at Robert's or Chris' quite inappropriate jokes he didn't glare or snap but only kept looking down at his food.

"This really is a sight I would gladly wake up to" Robert had said with a wide grin, winking at you as you had only giggled at your best friend's behavior.

"You and me both Downey" Chris had mumbled and you had giggled at him as well.

"Hey back off Evans. I saw her first" he had thrown a small piece of bacon at him.

"No that was actually me!" Chris had retorted, throwing a piece of pancake at him.

"And so Civil War has began" Brendon had mumbled with a shake of his head and you had nodded your head at him "Would be great if you didn't choose any of them though" he had grinned at you.

You had chuckled "Maybe. But sorry Brendon, I have eyes for someone else" you had given him a sympathetic smile.

"It's ok, as long as he takes care of you" he had brushed it off.

"...But I will be there just in case" he had added with a sly grin and you had shaken your head at him with a laugh.

You had tried to avoid looking at Jensen when you said about your heart belonging to someone else but once again you couldn't help it as your head turned to him and his had snapped to you. But of course once you noticed you put on a stoic face and all-but-glared at him. Clearly meaning to show that you did not mean him. And oh did that hurt him.

It was obvious but you shook it off and thought nothing of it, because once again you did not want to get hurt. You had been in enough pain just because of him and you were not going to let him hurt you again.

And that was just what you did every day after that morning. Tried to ignore his looks of hurt and pain. It was uneventful, yes, but that did not go as far as your inner battle was concerned. Jensen did not try anything for those days, unlike theprevious ones he did not try to get you alone and quite shamelessly hit on you as if everything was alright. But he did not try to talk to you either. It was true that the previous days he had tried to get you to talk, just like that night – no doubt about what, but these days he didn't even try that. He just looked so tired. That morning you had attributed it to him staying up all night and drinking but these days you really didn't know what to make of it. Probably he would stay up every night, who knew, considering the bags under his eyes and the tired look on his face, his lack of attention and of course lack of willingness to do anything.