Fear Of Loving

Doubt // Confusion [20]

♡Hanah's POV♡

I made it pass another week of school with the annoyance of my friends and my unsteady heart.

Whenever Ryan passes, I swear I'm going into a panic attack. And when he talks to me, I'm practically in my death bed.

"There's a party," Kristina said, to all of us.

"When did you start to care about those things ?" Alex asked.

Oh yeah, Alex and Kristina started dating just last week. When my life was in a spiral they were enjoying themselves and spreading their love.

"Because," she placed her head on his shoulder. "This is the part where you ask me to go with you, I decline politely and offer something more fun."

"Hm. Will you go with me to this party, Kristina?" Alex asked, leaning real close to her.

"Nope. Want to go bowling?" She asked instead, giving him a cheeky smile.

"Sure, babe." He pecked her lips and I groaned in a sarcastic way.

I looked over to David who was sitting across from me and stuck my finger in my mouth and pretending to self induce vomit on myself.

Their love was sickening to me. Revolting. Disgusting. It's cause I'm jealous. HA! Not! I'm not. Love is just ugly.

"Hanah! Hanah!" David waved his hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I shook my head and blinked.

"Are you gonna go to this party?" He asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"You went to the last one," he pointed out.

"I was blackmailed into going," I retorted.

"You still went though."

"Shut up," I frowned and threw a french fry at him.

"You still didn't answer my question." He skillfully caught the French fry and munched on it.

"Uhm, I don't know," I said. "I'll check back with you on that later."

"The party's tonight," David said, squinting his eyes at me.

"Like I said, later. Going to class now, see you guys later." I stood up from the table and grabbed my bag.

"Wait, let me walk with you," David said.

I shrugged and allowed him to tag along.

"Needa stop by my locker to grab my spanish binder," I said, cutting through an empty hallway.

David followed along as I scanned for my locker.

"Bingo." I dialed the rotator to my combo and opened it. A piece of paper few out but I didn't bother to pick it up, mess by some assignment I didn't threw away.

I took out my chem book and cradled it like a baby. I closed my locker and noticed that David had opened the note and read it.