Fear Of Loving

Ice cream // Cupcakes [23]

*Let me start off by saying I love you all so much for allowing this to hit 2k*

♡Hanah's POV♡

I run my hand through my hair one less time, washing out whatever got tangled in it from last night. My sighs were long and heavy, and sad.

Turning off the water, I grabbed a towel and wrapped my body in it. My now pale, lifeless complexion looks back at me.

You fucked up again, she seems to say.

And in my head, I replied, Yeah, I know.

I walked over to my closet, grabbed a hoodie and a pair of shorts. Even though it was around 30 degrees outside, I didn't care less.

I flopped in bed and stared at my ceiling. How did my life return back to step one? Why did I let it become this way?

My heart automatically skipped a beat as my phone buzzed with a phone call. I hurriedly picked it up to see the call was Reese.

"Hey, Aidan and I are food shopping. Want something?"

"Mint chocolate chip ice cream please," I said.

"How many boxes?"

"As much you can fit in your car."

"Coming right up!"

The phone call ended and I was left in silence once again.

Why did he do that? I thought he liked me. Truly, sincerely liked me.

My eyes got droopy and my mind shut off. I realized this was what I needed, a good sleep to get my mind off of things.

Ryan and I were at the lake. The dipping in, the kissing, the dancing, the love. Then in the morning, it all went away. I was left with my dress fixed back on, and my purse lying next to me. I called out for Ryan's name but he was nowhere to be found.

I doubted it, saying it wasn't true. Saying that Ryan wouldn't leave. Then realization hit like spiked wrecking ball and I was thrown into oblivion where I stayed until Aidan picked me up.

Hey, at least he had the decency to give me my phone. Right?

Ha, right...

"No. No!"

I was shaken awake by Aidan. I could feel the tears run down my face and I quickly wiped them off. I looked down at the sheets instead of him to cause the crying to stop. I'm not weak. Ryan didn't break my heart, it wasn't there to begin with.

"Dinner's ready. And we bought you ice cream," he said.

"Ok," I replied.

"Come on," Aidan walked closer to my bed and helped me get out.

I numbly walked down the stairs with him and to the dining room.

"Hey, sweetheart," my dad said.

"Hey," I replied.