Jema

13. Family Matters

The word 'betrayal' felt too strong for a long time. I never thought I'd feel absolute certain betrayal of any kind during my lifetime. But seeing my sister, the sister I whose name I don't even know, sparks a sense of dread in me. I'm instantly lightheaded, my eyes going out of focus.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I said I wouldn't cry. Gosh I just—finally meeting you guys seemed too good to be true—"

"Who are you?" Dennis speaks up. He hasn't put it together yet. Corey looks stunned to the bone, sitting motionless like he's made of lead.

"I'm... Anna," the girl says hesitantly. Her face draws up quickly, almost in horror. "Daddy didn't tell you, did he?" In a span of three minutes, she's gone from happy to ecstatic to what looks like heartbroken. "You guys are—well we're related. Were half-siblings."

Corey has not moved a muscle. I'm still trying to focus my eyes, and now Dennis' mouth scrunches up in that pouty way. When we were still in elementary school, Dennis could get anyone to do anything by pouting. Now, I know it's totally unintentional.

"Anna..." Dennis says softly. "We have a sister named Anna."

"Yeah," she nods, encouragingly. "I'm Anna and—"

"No, a different sister," Dennis interrupts. "Hold on, just—this is a lot. You and them—" he points to the guys that still haven't made their way over, "—are supposed to be related to us? What?"

Anna waves her brothers—my brothers—over. Only one gets up. The other sits with his arms crossed. "I can't believe Daddy didn't tell you this. I'm so pissed." One of the boys makes his way over, the one that was staring. "This is Cal."

It's too much. William didn't bother telling us we had siblings in the first place, and then he sent them to meet us before he even got here? I feel my head shaking as I stand up and storm off, two tables over. What kind of parent does this? What a piece of shit.

I want to go home. I want to go back to Colorado and lay in my bed and cry. William has been living with an entirely different family without letting us know a damn thing. He choose them over us.

We weren't good enough.

It shouldn't hurt but it stings a whole fucking lot. My body is uncomfortably light, as if I might blow away with any gust of wind. The cool frame of the glass table on my cheek is the only thing keeping me from literally passing out. We weren't good enough for him. I wasn't good enough for my dad.

Damn it, I wish I couldn't care. I don't want to feel it anymore. I hate it. I hate William and I hate Anna and Cal. My chest hurts with all the cool air I'm sucking in. I want to go home. I want to go home.

I can hear them talking. Dennis excuses me, saying I am always like this. Corey says to excuse me, I'm sensitive sometimes.

Don't worry, Anna says, we have one like that. Nicky. He's still sitting. He doesn't want to meet you guys.

Well fuck you, Nicky. I don't want to meet you guys either.

I feel the tears pool around my cheek, and my breathing sounds loud in the cavern of my own folded arms. I do not want to be here anymore. God forbid I ever trample on a child's feelings like William did mine. And he's probably not even going to show up. It wouldn't surprise me one bit.

It's been about ten minutes. I stopped tuning into the conversation between the four of my siblings after it got too friendly. How they just sit there, listening to the blonde Eckart kids announce full names and age and everything, is beyond me. I think my eyes are finally dry.