Jema

Bad Feelings (Two {Trigger warning})

Before you go any further, PLEASE know that this flashback contains triggering content. Skipping over it does not change the plot of the story, and you are welcome to skip over it and message me if you'd like a quick summary rather than reading it. I fully advise you to do the latter if you are triggered easily. Thank you!

*

*

I don't like Mr. Santino today.

He's looking at me funny again. And now he's looking at Dennis funny, too. I don't want him to touch Dennis at all. Dennis still cries a lot, and Mr. Santino will make him cry more.

Sometimes, Mr. Santino is really nice. He lets us talk to his pet bird, Waffles (she can say thirty-eight words), and play with the train set in his basement. I like when he makes us ice cream sundaes and we watch old cowboy movies. But not too loud, because his mom lives upstairs, in a room. She can't move. She's a 'para-fil-egic'.

Mom and Rob are on a honeymoon, like they always have been for a week. We're at Mr. Santino's while they vacation, and then go shopping for us. I wish they'd leave us with Mrs. O'Henry instead. I like her, and I like her dogs.

Dennis says he likes Mr. Santino better than Mrs. O'Henry, but he's dumb. He's only six, anyway; what does he know?

Mr. Santino says he likes me, but I know he doesn't. He touches me where he's not supposed to. Or at least the places my teachers say is bad.

I keep telling him to stop. I swear I do. Sometimes I cry, and he just calls me 'stupid boy' or 'wimpy boy', and tells me to shut up or he'll tell Mom I was bad, even when I wasn't.

There are times when I can go downstairs with Dennis and Corey and play with the trainset, but then sometimes he tells Corey and Dennis I've been bad, and makes me stay upstairs. I know I haven't done anything wrong, but he lies to my brothers anyway. The corners of my mouth turn down as I sit down on the couch.

"You know you're not being good, Corbin Jeremiah Eckart," Mr. Santino says in his deep voice. He uses my whole name to scare me, like Mom does when she's upset. "What do we do about this?" I frown and shake my head.

"I don't know."

"Well, go ahead and take off your pants, so I can spank you," Mr. Santino says. I pause before shaking my head. "No? How will you be punished then?"

"I-I didn't do anything," I say louder than I mean to. "What did I do?"

"You did enough," he growls. "Now, are you going to take your punishment like a respectful boy, or does someone else have to take it for you?" he asks. I'm frozen in place. While I don't want Mr. Santino to do anything to me, I think he means one of my brothers when he says 'someone else'. I don't know what to say. "Alright. I guess you want Dennis to be punished in your place-"

"No!" I yell. I was right. I just imagine Dennis with tears on his cheeks, crying while Mr. Santino does terrible things to him. It almost makes me cry. "No... I understand."

"Good. Good, that makes you a respectful boy." Mr. Santino places his big hands on my bottom, and squeezes like a ball. My eyes finally let go of the tears I've been holding for the last few minutes when he places three fingers in my mouth. "Now, put your pants over on the chair, and lay down."