fanboy ❀ joshler

three

The work week was excruciatingly slow.

Days seemed to loiter more than their allowed 24 hours. By Friday, I was practically crawling out of work when my 8 AM - 4 PM shift was done, ready to pass out and sleep the week away. Sleep. Something I was not getting enough of during those 6 nights. 

But, here I am now. Standing in front of my mirror on a sunny Saturday. Letting it all sink in, that I'm meeting the most adorable boy I've laid my eyes on who sings like a fucking angel and plays the piano and ukulele. 

A boy who barely knows of my existence.

Taking a million outfit changes until I settle on something as simple as a white tee and black skinny jeans. Fussing with my freshly-dyed red hair even though you can only see the front due to my snapback that I strategically place on my head. Brushing my tongue for a second longer than usual, just in case. The things I do every day without thinking, seem so amplified. That I need to get everything right and perfected. I want to look as good as I can get, and I would've never guessed it was going to be because of a cute boy off of YouTube. 

That, again, barely knows of my existence. 

--

The drive is filled with excitement and anxiety. I have a pit in my stomach and it feels like my heart and lungs are concaving, but I have the biggest grin on my face. I'm terrified about what could happen, but I'm ecstatic for the same exact reason. Something I've never quite experienced before.

When I arrive at the park, I can distinctly what seems to be 10 people. There's three girls that look around fifteen, three guys that look about twenty, and four girls that look around there, as well. My sigh is laced with relief, seeing that there was people my age here. Glancing at my watch, it reads 1:56. Tyler will be here soon. In my presence. 

I walk up to the group of people, and they all start chatting to me about Tyler-related things, and I instantly feel accepted. No one is left out of the conversation, and everyone begins to become friendly with one another. I jot the names and numbers of a few people, before feeling a nudge on my shoulder. 

Without thinking, my head perks up. I almost have to do a double take.

Tyler's here.

He's wearing a black sweatshirt with different colored shapes scattered in the fabric, paired with skinny jeans.

I never pictured him with such nice legs.

Trying to be as patient as I can possibly be, I don't interrupt people's private chats and thank you's with Tyler, and everyone follows that same, unspoken code.

But holy fuck do I wanna talk to him.

I wanna hear his cute laugh to a dumb joke.

I wanna see him blush when told a compliment.

I wanna feel what it's like to hug him.

I wanna I wanna I wanna.

"Hey, are you..Josh?" I hear my name and my body comes back to reality.

And there's Tyler Joseph standing right in front of me. 

Acknowledging my existence.