My Fucked Up Life.

When Dreaming Gets Drastic ~ Go Radio

Every night I have dreams about her.
Both of them.
Together.

She's the sweetest person in my unconsciousness mind.

But I know she's not always like that.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I shouldn't be afraid to sleep.

They're only dreams.
It's not real...
But sometimes I wake up in the early a.m hours, crying.
Whispering for it to come back.

I guess I look forward to my dreams too.
Sometimes they're all that keep me together.

I see him sitting alone across the table from her.
She's ignoring him.
He stands up quickly when I walk by and hugs me.
His scent envelopes me.
We walk off into the yard outside where the little party is in full swing.
She watches us.

She stands and follows us with her blonde friend.
I hear the blonde whisper "I bet he fucker her before he fucked you."
I feel like dying.
Not because we did anything (we hadn't)
But because they had when he said he wanted to lose it to me..
It hurt.

We wonder around a little bit more while they follow us.
We both turn around.
You walk to her, and she looks up at you.
I walk forward quickly closing the gap,
Brushing past her and away from them all.
I don't have to turn around to know that she leans up to kiss him.
I'm done.

I sit alone on the steps of the deck.
I put my face in my knees and cry.

Then I open my eyes again to find myself in the safety of my bed.
She's gone,
You're gone.
I'm safe.
Heartbroken.

Cold

And Alone.