My Fucked Up Life.

I'm Sorry

Hey whoever still reads these.
I'm sorry that I haven't posted anything in Forever.
I've been really depressed and sometimes mildly suicidal.
Before, writing and letting all the feelings out help so much.
But with this recent wave of emo bullshit, it hasn't helped.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being a fuck up.
I'll probably start posting more for whoever reads.
But to keep you up-to-date on my life..
Here are some recent decisions I've made.

I've decided not to go to any camps and programs this summer.

I'll be getting a part time job so I can pay for a local anime convention in a couple of months.

I got out of my most recent relationship. And since then I think I've been much happier, not being stuck in a broken relationship.

I have been trying to keep in contact with a former girlfriend to build that friendship stronger.

Depression that came from the boy with blue eyes is still there... It's so prominent but I'm fighting it. I'm not letting it get to me as bad as I did. There are still episodes of things that happen between us... But overall I think our relationship is improving... I hope that I can be a good friend to him.
recently he told me he didn't have any. I asked him what I was, if I was his friend, he said he didn't know, for how much shit I put him through, all the horrible anger and jealousy and depression and just not being able to bare rejection...
I'm trying to overcome it.

I think I'm doing quite well for now.
The blue eyed boy is supposed to come over tomorrow so I'll check in with you that night.

I've actually gotten myself into a healthy relationship with an older guy.
He's kind and treats me better than anyone I've ever met.
I'm in love with him.
I'm happier.

Sorry if you guys don't really give a fuck about my real life.
I don't really either.

I just felt that you needed an update.

Sorry.

I'll try to check in tomorrow and maybe write a little scene from yesterday with dialogs.
I'm trying to improve my written dialog skill level.

Till next time my lovelies.

~<3 Levy

P.s.
I'm sick as fuck I'm sorry if the grammar or spelling suffers from it.