Who Is The One?

Chapter 19

Youngji was sitting with her family in a picnic on the beautiful grass patch. Even her father was there. However, Youngji was not surprised at all. Suddenly, the bright blue sky darkened. Dark clouds replaced the white ones. Youngji felt the first few drops of rain on her skin. Her father seemed to be turning invisible and that scared Youngji. She cried for him and tried to hold onto him but nothing worked.

Youngji shot up from bed with beads of sweat on her forehead and her neck, wet. She felt trails of tears wet on her cheeks.

"What is this?" Am I subconsciously worried about that monster? Why would I cry for him. What the hell Youngji. She thought.

She wiped the tears off her face.

----

Youngji had put on her glasses that day. She just didn't feel like wearing her contact lenses. She didn't have any class and she didn't have much to do so she went over to a cafe nearby. They had free wifi and Youngji was using her laptop.

She was playing a game on Facebook while sipping on her cup of iced tea.

Her ringtone played, filling the whole the cafe. Cup in hand, she took the call.

"Hey, whats up?" Youngji answered.

"Papa's dead," Jackson said, emotionless.

The cup tumbled onto the table. Its content spilled out and dirtied Youngji's shirt and pants.

"W-what?"

"Come over to the hospital. His body's still here. The memorial service will be held soon."

"A-alright."

Youngji didn't know how to react. She just couldn't believe it. She scoffed and started packing up her things.
---

Upon reaching, she saw her family members standing near the back of the room while her father's new family stood near the front of his bed. Even then, they were ostracised. Youngji stared at the lifeless body. He looked like he was sleeping.

Youngji walked over to the bed. Unknowingly, she was jabbing her father's arm to wait for a reaction. She held his hand. It wasn't cold yet but she could sense that he was truly gone. She pursed her lips and let go of his hand. She ran out of the room and out of the hospital. She just continued running without an aim.

Tears streamed out of her eyes. She stopped abruptly near a bench located near a traffic light and just dropped onto the bench. She was staring into knowhere and just crying her heart out. Youngji grabbed the neck of her shirt. It hurt her so much but she didn't understand why. She knew she hated him but why was she so devastated?

She wanted to talk to someone, lean on his shoulder. Dujun.

Youngji dialled his number. No answer. She tried again. Still no answer. Again. Again. Again.

She rubbed her face in frustration and let the tears flow out like a stream of water. She just gave up on calling him and screamed in frustration. Passers-by glanced at Youngji. Where was he when she needed him the most? She needed him then. Youngji covered her face with both her hands.

"Youngji?"

She looked up and was so surprised.

"Dongwoon?" She sniffled.

"Whats wrong?" Dongwoon sat beside her and held her by her shoulders.

Youngji just shook her head and cried into his shoulder. She sobbed harder and Dongwoon just wrapped his arms around her. Youngji shut her eyes tight as she let all her despair out.

---

Youngji was still sobbing slightly.

"You wanna talk about it?" Dongwoon asked.

"My father passed away. I saw him today. He didn't move at all. I touched him but it was just an empty shell. I just can't hold back my feelings. I feel miserable. I don't know why! It would be normal if he was actually a father figure to me but he's not! I hate him! I don't even understand myself."

Dongwoon's eyes softened. He put his hand over hers gently.

"Your brain is telling you to hate him but your heart is still willing to accept him and love him. You're just in denial you see. You actually care for him even when you think you don't."

Youngji looked at him and nodded slowly. It made sense to her. The dream she had justified his theory. She felt horrible for being so bad to her father.

"I just feel so guilty for bashing him whenever I had the chance. My heart feels like its being ripped up countless of times. I didn't have a chance to apologise. Do you get what I mean?"

"Yes I can empathise with you Youngji. I lost my grandmother. I was very close to her and it hurt me so much to see her go away just like that. Life is cruel, Youngji. It can end in a blink of an eye."

Youngji buried her face into her hands. "I know but..."

"Its okay Youngji. Its okay." Dongwoon patted her on her shoulder.
---

Dongwoon had accompanied Youngji home with a heavy heart. It worried him to see the ever so lively Youngji look so down and forlorn.

"Thanks for walking me home. I feel better talking to you." Youngji smiled.

Dongwoon smiled back. His heart filled with warmth at her small smile. It made him feel as though he had saved the world.

"It was nothing. I couldn't leave a friend in need."

"Go on then. I'm going in now." Youngji waved.

"See you soon." Dongwoon waved back and began strolling to the bus stop.
----

Just as Youngji stepped out of the bathroom, her phone started ringing. She saw the caller ID: Dujun. She felt her heart wrench but still answered.

"Youngji? What happened? You called me so many times."

"Yeah. Its all good now. Dongwoon found me when I was bawling my eyes out." Youngji said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Hey. Seriously what happened?"

"My father passed away alright? I was desperately calling for you, hoping that you'd come straight away. Where were you when I needed you the most?" Youngji's voice cracked and tears began to flow again.

"I- I'm sorry to hear about that."

There was a short pause.

Youngji sniffled. "I asked. Where were you that you couldn't answer your phone at all?"

"My phone battery was dead. I'm really sorry Youngji. Do you want me to go over to your house now?"

"Forget it. We'll talk next time. I'm really tired right now."

Dujun went quiet for a moment. "Alright. Have a good rest."

Youngji ended the call and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

Youngji could feel a rift between Dujun and her although she hoped that it wasn't happening.

"First I lose Papa and now this."