As Told By Nerdy

Chapter 28 - Reconciliation

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Chapter 28 – Reconciliation

I opened my eyes, desperately gasping from breath, detaching the fear from my system. The same nightmare again, but the fear never seemed to go away.

It was nights such as these that I stayed up watching the imaginary flickers on the ceiling while curled up on bed, rocking back and forth in an attempt to relieve the tension and the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I guess this is the part where I should hang myself from the ceiling. Sadly, there was nothing to hang the rope on besides the fluorescent lamp and I strongly doubted that it would be strong enough to hold a hundred pounds.

Two thirty three. The clock flashed then stood still.

My hand reached for the phone and dialed his number again and again. His recorded voice was the only consolation to the pang of conscience that gnawed inside me.

“Leon…” I began after several tries, finally having the courage to speak his name not minding the twinge of pain that stabbed in my chest. “Please… please talk to me.” Letting out a deep sigh, I hung up.

I stared at the little device, hoping for the slightest glimmer of light or the slightest peep, but it answered me with a deafening silence. No. I thought it was laughing at me. Because I had been so stupid. I was soon to lose my mind and after that, it would be hello Doctor Jensen.

After what seemed like forever, the phone rang. I snatched it off the table and automatically placed it on my ear. I didn’t need to look to know who it was. A spark of hope flickered inside me.

The few seconds of silence was broken by his deep sighs. I knew it was him. My heart skipped a few beats in anticipation of his voice.

“Talk, Sarah.” There was a forlorn tone to his words. It was him. Leon. His name reverberated inside my head with so much longing.

I parted my drying lips. No words came; only the swelling in my throat that choked my unobtrusive voice. It only intensified with every passing second as I closed my eyes to listen to his breathing. Something warm trickled on my cheek then dropped on the back of my hand.

“I’m sorry,” I croaked. “It’s inexcusable. But believe me… it wasn’t what it looked like.”

“Then what was it? Tell me,” he pleaded, his voice shaking.

I wished to see him, to touch his face and tell him everything as I gaze into his eyes. I closed my eyes and collected a haze of Leon’s images from my memory as I tried to find the right words to say but found none.

I realized I was crying when the irrepressible sobs started to erupt. I swallowed them back with no success. For the last few days, I had anticipated this to finally come. The tears welled without hesitation but what I had not been able to foresee was the unbearable devastating pain that came with it. 

“Sarah, please don’t cry. You’re making this harder for me.” It was no more than a whisper, as though he was suffocating. “It’s killing me.”

“I’m sorry… Leon. I’m sorry.” I didn’t know how many times I had said I’m sorry.

The only thing I knew was him, panting as he hurled himself out of Arthur’s house. Him, into the cold darkness, doing a mad dash across the street and him as he frantically hauled himself to clamber his way up the ladder to my window.

At some other ordinary time, I might have wondered why my mother did not remove the ladder though she thought it was inappropriate. But tonight, I could simply marvel.

When, finally, his feet touched the floor with a light thud, his blue eyes darted to me with an air of incredulity. His navy blue buttoned shirt, jeans and sneakers hinted me that he wasn’t sleeping. His face was pallid. There were purplish swollen bags under his eyes as he peeked through his lashes. After gasping for breath, his lips were pressed into a thin line and his arms, clenched on his sides.

”It scares me to death to even think of it. But I just had to hear it from you,” He stifled the words in between the onerous breaths. “Now, tell me… Do you love him?”

“No,” I croaked instantly. It might be the only truth I had shared with him.

He replied with a vague nod, his eyes deliberately averted from me.

“It was just a misunderstanding. It’s not what it must’ve looked like. I’m sorry I—“

I blinked in surprise.

In a heartbeat, I was already in his arms. His chest felt warm and when I pressed my ear against it, I could hear the lurid beating of his heart, even faster than mine.

“That’s enough for me,” he whispered to my ear.

I had expected him to be angry. I braced myself for every hurtful word that might come from him. I deserved to be torn into pieces and fed to the sharks; some form of punishment equal to the betrayal of his trust. I wasn’t worthy of his kindness.

The guilt very soon exacerbated but his presence overwhelmed the pain with comforting warmth. It felt wrong; as though the victim sought to console the offender. But every strandof my person longed for hispresence. Only he can ease the pain and emptiness away. I could only hope to do so much to relieve the hurt from his eyes.

“Why’d you have to be so perfect?” I whimpered, burying my face against his broad chest.

“But I’m not,” he replied. “If I am, I would have listened to you that night. It’s ridiculous that I’ve wasted so much time; every single night just thinking about it. I doubted myself but I never doubted you. I knew I’d believe anything you say,” he continued feverishly.

“Well don’t. I’m a big liar.” I withdrew from his arms and sank feebly on the edge of my bed, shaking my head only to substantiate that this wasn’t a dream I conjured up to feed my desperate wish.

Leon squared his shoulders and sat on the study chair, his eyes intently fixed on me; determined for whatever it was I had to tell.

“You don’t have to be. You can tell me everything.”

 

 

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A short chapter after long mopey ones LOL; so please tell me what you think because I am considering rewriting this part... Hmmm... Please do VOTE if you liked this chapter. It'd surely make me happy *creepy smile* so if you are reading this, *hugsies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* ~shim