As Told By Nerdy

Chapter 48 - Separate Ways

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Chapter 48 – Separate Ways

The night was deep when I opened my eyes. I hadn’t realized how tired I was. It must’ve have been a couple of hours drive from Nathan’s home.

The waning moon reflected on the dark rippling waters of Sta. Monica beach and apart from the sound of waves and the occasional sea bird, the stark silence was unnerving.

“Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when we get to Winfred’s,” Leon said barely glancing at me. It wasn’t hard to tell how tired he was. There were purplish red bags under his bloodshot eyes and his face was pale.

I nodded sensinga sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t think I could do it. I couldn’t make myself hurt him that much even though I was sure it was the right thing to do. Maybe I was being selfish, but I couldn’t break up with him. I simply didn’t want to.

“Sarah,” he called my name, his eyes fixed on the road. “I’m really sorry. I… I should’ve told you earlier about Gerald’s plan but I knew you’d react this way.” His knuckles turned white as he clutched on the steering wheel.

“And how is that my fault?” I meant to sound derisive but my voice broke in all the wrong places.

With a shake of his head, Leon averted his eyes from me and manoeuvred the car to the roadside. Silence prevailed for several seconds before he finally stopped staring at the empty road and fixed his clear sea-blue eyes at me.

“I…” he opened his mouth then hesitated. The next thing I knew, Leon was banging his head on the steering wheel, cursing silently. His whole body trembled and through the dim light from the waning moon, his eyes glistened as though tears were starting to form on them.

“Stop! Leon, p-please stop doing that,” I mumbled weakly with a raspy voice, swallowing the choking lump that formed in my throat. Just the sight of him in that miserable state began to break my heart. It made me just wish that I could hold him, comfort him.

He shook his head and faced me.

“It’s all me. At first it was just to keep you silent, but believe me, I love you. You did nothing but to make me happy every single day, Sarah. I’m afraid I’d lose you. I’m a… coward. I’m not expecting you to understand but,” he mumbled fervently.

I looked away and choked a sob. The edges of his eyes were red as he stared at the car’s ceiling, perhaps to hold back the tears. Never had I saw him break down like this. He had always been the composed, happy-go-lucky, exuberant Leon with occasional anger management issues but I never pictured him this way.

When Leon finally managed to look at me again, he swallowed hard and took my hand.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me but I just wanted you to know that even though I’ve lied to you so many times, what I felt for you was true. When I said that I’d never love anyone else more than you, I mean it. I’d do anything. I’ll wait until you can finally forgive me.” His mellifluous voice was so honest as he put my palm on his cheek.

Before I could even answer, a tear rolled down my cheek as I forced a smile.

“Remember when I said you should only think about leaving me if you don’t love me anymore?” I choked the words out asthe twinge of pain in my chest almost had me suffocating.

With adiscouraged sigh, he gazed at me with those probing crystal eyes.

“I take it back,” I whispered faintly as the tears I forced to blink back started to fall one by one. “I’m letting you go…”