To all my racist, sexist, ableist, hating ass bitches out there who are annoying as fuck:
I wish the worst for you. I hope your pee comes out as yellow as packaged ramen seasoning and that you dehydrated as fuck. I hope you run out of blistex/vaseline and your lips end up looking more crusty and white than TrAshton Irwin. I hope you step in a puddle while wearing your brand new socks. I hope Drake makes a diss track about you. I hope you stub your toe at least 9 times a day. I hope your wifi goes down and you have to use slow ass LTE. I hope someone sneezes in your face. I hope you get jumped. I hope your period lasts longer than the pause in "Don't" by Bryson Tiller. I hope your eyebrows are as non-existent as Rachel Dolezal's melanin. I hope you become more irrelevant than Pitbull. I hope trip while you go down the stairs. I hope you get a foot cramp. I hope all of your friends are more fake than Donald Trump's toupee. I hope you look like an egg, matter of fact I hope you end up looking like that fucking Captain Underpants dude. I hope your plants die as quickly as DJ Khaled can upload a snapchat. I hope you get left on read. I hope you lose your phone and you gotta downgrade to a T-Mobile Sidekick with the flip up screen. I hope your grades slip like LeBron's hairline. I hope you miss the basket when you make a shot like how Miley stays missing those notes. I hope your tongue gets burned by this tea. I hope your headphones are short and your charger is broke and your phone just died and that you spilled shit on your shirt. I hope your skin is mad ashy and you're too broke to buy lotion. I hope your scalp is dry. I hope you look like Tyga. T Y G A. I hope you sit in a car with leather seats after it was in the Sun for like an hour. I hope you never have any Bobby pins, hair ties, and gum. I hope you choke on a dumpling, I'm done.
