drive ♢ muke ✔️

ii

"hello, welcome to macca's how may i service you today?" the robotic feminine voice comes from that little yellow box thing.

"hit me up with some large fries and coke," i say.

"will that be everything?" she asks.

"no shit sherlock," i scoff.

"your total is five ninety two," her voice states coldly.

on other circumstances, i might've felt bad for hurting her feelings but today i'm pissed off. i just came back from court to pay off my ticket i received the day before. my wallet is a hundred and ten dollars lighter today thanks to stupid officer robinson.

i drive up further and scavenge through the change in my car. i pull out a five dollar bill from my wallet and gather a few quarters and dimes. i jingle the coins in my fairly large hand.

the window glides open and a girl with short blond hair cut in a slick bob gives me a neutral look. she's pretty and suddenly i feel apologetic. i give her my best attempt of a smile and grin awkwardly.

"you're cute," she states. "if only you weren't a sarcastic asshole."

i bite my lip and try to maintain my exaggerated smile even though i now feel like running her over. we make an exchange, i give her my money and she gives me a brown bag and a drink.

i speed away, sipping at my drink and occasionally popping fries in my mouth.

there's no law against eating and driving is there?

my phone buzzes against my thigh. i grumble and wipe the salt from the fries onto my pants and answer.

"where the hell are you?" calum's voice questions immediately.

"why?"

"i need the car."

"i'm almost back, give me ten minutes."

"where did you go?"

"paid off my ticket."

"god michael, another one?" calum sounds exasperated.

"don't fucking judge- oh crap," i swear under my breath when i hear sirens and a black car motion me to pull over.

"what?" calum asks.

i sigh and turn into a curb and wait for stupid officer robinson to give me another goddamn ticket. i crank my window down and look down at me feet.

i hear a deep voice clear his throat to get my attention, it's not quite deep enough to belong to officer robinson. i look up, expecting dark grey hair and hard brown eyes but instead i face messy dirty blond hair and bright blue eyes. he looks young, twenty minimum.

"you're not officer robinson," i state obliviously.

"nope, still me. i just got tons of plastic surgery done," he replies sarcastically.

"where's officer robinson?" i ask plainly.

the taller boy just shrugs. "i don't know, i took over the carlton region because he said something about having enough with blue haired punks. i'm assuming that's you."

"i'm michael, nice to meet you, i really need to get going-"

"not quite," the blond boy stops me smugly. "if i'm correct, i saw you talking on the phone. that's considered distracted driving, i'm going to have to write you up."

"write you up? are you talking to a cop michael? if you come home with another ticket i will slit your throat!" calum threatens me from the phone.

both the officer and i look at my phone where calum's spitting curses and threats.

"you don't understand officer, this is my wife, she thinks her water is breaking. she's pregnant," i lie through my teeth.

"i'm a man dumbass! i'm not your wife and i'm not pregnant either!" calum screeches.

"hormones," i explain, glaring at my phone. "hey, uh, calumina, please tell this nice officer that you're pregnant."

"oh," calum says, his voice now a dreadful high pitched squeal. he seems to finally understand. "yup. i am calumina and i have a vagina that needs to poop out a baby!"

i face palm as i hope that the blond officer is as clueless as calum is. i doubt it when i notice the hard scowl etched on his face.

"nice try," he says flatly.

i sigh and hand over my license. he scribbles a few things down and hands me back my license along with a yellow ticket. he gives me a look before turning around and walking away.

"you're an idiot," calum sighs through the phone.