Hall of Fame

Chap. 25

Chapter 25

The next morning I find myself sitting on the living room floor at 6 a.m. with Uncle Sam, and of course two steaming cups of tea. I couldn't sleep and came down around two hours ago, only to find him sitting on the kitchen counter.

"So I've been meaning to ask, but I guess I just didn't really want to know so I didn't, but how long are you here for? Like when are you being sent out again?"

"I was hoping to talk to you, your mom, Xander, and your sister about that all together later today actually." He tells me, lifting the mug back up to his lips.

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll just wait till then."

"You should try to go get some sleep, if nothing else it'll take your mind off of everything."

"Probably. I'll see you in a few hours." I said smiling as I stood up, grabbing my mug from the coffee table. I walk up the stair sluggishly and have to pause when I reach the hallway, slightly disoriented. Maybe I really do need to sleep.

I finally reach my room only to find my bed empty. This wouldn't be strange if Xander hadn't been there when I left. That's when I feel a slight breeze, looking over to the balcony door I find it cracked open just the slightest bit. I one of the hundreds of blankets lying on the bed and wrap it around myself, careful not to drop my tea.

I walk over to the door and push it open just enough to let myself out. And there he sits, he's curled up in the sky blue plastic lawn chair, a blanket wrapped around him, and his face staring up at the stars. There are not many other houses around mine, or big cities, or much of anything. So there's usually a great view of the stars. And Xander, being the astronomy fanatic he is, takes full advantage of that. I find him out here more often than not.

I sit down next to him, and spread the blanket I brought out over my legs. Xander immediately pulls his football hoodie off when he sees I only have a t-shirt on and I pull it on. I normally fight him at least a little on this but I am really cold and he has a thermal shirt on with another t-shirt on top.

"What if Cole doesn't make it?" Xander asks softly, it's uncharacteristic for him to ever be vulnerable like this, and it hurts me to know that I can't just fix this. This is a real problem that's troubling him. And there's nothing that either of us can do to fix it.

"I don't know." I reply honestly. I sit back and lean into him and he wraps his arm around me and buries his face in my shoulder. I rub small circles into his arm, "I think we just need to be prepared for anything, and make sure he knows how much we love him. Life's short. And it might be even shorter for him, but he might also get better. There's no way to plan for these things, and there's definitely no good way to deal with them. We just have to live for today and hope for tomorrow."

"Live for today?" he asks, there's an emotion that I can't quite make out in his eyes and I try to just ignore it.

"Live for today. Live for right now. Who knows what could change in the next year, the next day, the next hour, the next minute. Anything could happen at any time."

"Andy I'm gonna say some stuff now, some serious stuff I've wanted to say for a long time. This whole Cole thing has freaked me out and got me thinking, that could have been me. Or as much as it kills me to even think it, you." He's looking right at me now, and I'm trying to wipe away the tears that are streaming from his eyes. "That scares me. That scares me so much. And everything you just said confirmed everything that I've been thinking lately. I haven't been living for right now Andy. I've been living for what I hope to happen one day, for what I want to be my future. But it's not gonna happen unless I make it happen. Andy you know I love you, but it's not just that." He stops and closes his eyes, his whole body is shaking and I don't know what to do, what to say but before I get the chance he opens his eyes again, and the tears stop and I'm not sure I've ever seen him so serious. "I'm in love with you. I have been for a really long time. I'm not even sure who I was more afraid of admitting it to, you or myself. But I see it now, it's all I see now. I can't stop it either, I tried because I was scared of ruining everything but I don't want to stop it anymore. I just want you to know. I just need you to know, I need you to know how much I love you."

If I'm being honest, I've imagined this moment a million times. I always knew I would end up with him, I've known since I was a little girl. But nothing could've prepared me for how I actually feel right now. There's so much running through my head, and I know what I should say, what I want to say. But I'm having trouble even breathing right now. So I don't say anything, I just look at him. He looks so scared, and I know exactly what I need to do right now. I don't need to say anything, which is great because I couldn't if I tried. Instead I close the gap between us, and I kiss him. I kiss my best friend. The boy that's been right next to me for the majority of my life. The boy that I've been crazy about for years and years and years. The boy that everyone's been telling me is in love with me for months when I refused to believe it. And there is no other place I would rather be than right here. It's like a magnet between us, we're drawn to each other. We always have been. Like a moth to a flame. Except I don't burn up when I finally reach him. He makes me better than I could ever be alone.

We pull away after a few moments that I wish could have lasted for an eternity. "Xander Jones, I love you so much and I have never been so sure of anything before in my entire life."

I've known him my entire life, and never have I seen him so happy. Not when he won the state championship, not when Uncle Sam surprised him by showing up at his game, not even that time in eighth grade. It was about a month after my dad died, and we were sitting on his couch watching a movie, and he just said some stupid joke and I laughed. Not because of the joke, but because in that moment I realized how lucky I was to have him. There I was, miserable and crying for a month straight. I watched a billion sad movies and was such a mess, and yet there he was every single day. Right next to me, telling me stupid jokes and pretending to enjoy my sad movies and hugging me every time I cried. Which was multiple times a day. He never left my side, not once. It was the first time I had laughed since my dad died, and it was the first time I had seen Xander cry since we were toddlers. He pulled me into a huge hug, and cried his eyes out. He was just so happy to hear me laugh again. I didn't think anything could ever beat that moment for us, but yet here we are. My arms are wrapped tightly around him and his lips are resting on my forehead.

"Andy?" I hear a bit later as we're watching the sun rise.

"Hmmm" I hum in response.

"Is this real?"

"I really hope so."

"You do?"

"Absolutely."

"Can I kiss you again?"

This boy is absolutely melting my heart. I turn my head up to face him and smile. "Whenever you want." His smile widens and I laugh, then he pulls me in for an equally heart melting moment. His lips are soft, and perfect, and probably my new favorite thing about him. That's a lie. That will always be his heart, it's perfect.

Hey guys! Short chapter? Yes. Super super super short chapter? Yep! Yea so sorry it's so short but it's kind of a big chapter. Like a really big important chapter. Fun fact, I actually wasn't going to write this chapter. Not chapter 25 in specific, but the plan was never for them to end up together. Like it was NEVER the plan, not even while I was writing it. I was just writing and it was supposed to be focused on Cole but this came out instead and I realized that it was totally needed. Xander's humor and goofy personality has been missing a lot and I've been trying to fix that and I finally realized it's because he's so conflicted about his feelings for Andy. And so, this chapter was born.

Side note: Still working on the description for Connor's story and also trying to come up with some name ideas. It really shouldn't be so difficult considering I've written the majority of it.

Anyway, thank you for reading!