Perfect and imperfect

Saturday

I'm sitting upstairs in my bedroom crying. It's what I've been doing all day. My parents think I'm scarred because of Nick but that's not true. Not completely anyway. Izzy and I didn't tell anyone about the whole kiss thing and we didn't want to go to the police. Our parents did but we convinced them otherwise somehow.

But the kiss is why I'm crying. Well, what happened after the kiss.

"I don't like you like that"

Those words circled through my head and through the air around me.

Of course she wouldn't like me! She is the Izzy flipping Blaze! She's wonderful, talented, nice. She just perfect! And then there's me. Stupid me that's full of flaws. She's perfect and I can never be perfect, and perfect and imperfect don't mix!

"Unbelievable garbage"

I believe that's exactly how she described the idea of us liking each other.

I cried and cried and cried some more the more and more I thought of this.

I was pulled from my sobs by a sharp bing! I grabbed my iPod and looked at what it was.

Crazy Hope: hey how was the party? Tell me EVERYTHING

I typed out everything that happened and she FaceTimed me.

"Are you okay?" She asked. I don't know why she did. My eyes were red and puffy and face was wet.

"No," I replied bluntly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Come on, Del. Let me help!"

"Thank you anyway but I just wanna be alone. I'll talk to you tomorrow, maybe. Bye."

"Are you sure?"

I hung up.

I was crying again until I felt like I was drowning in tears.

Stop! Stop it! I yelled at myself. It's a stupid crush! This is going to ruin your friendship! It's just a dumb crush!

But it was a dumb crush that was breaking me apart.