Far out! It's already March! Time flies, hey?
Not when you're dealing with this one all day. *points to Pippin who is sticking his head in a hole in a tree*
Why is he...
Don't ask.
Uhh ... okay ... well, how are you guys doing with your New Year's Resolutions?
Great! I promised myself that I wouldn't bury Pippin alive this year. So far, I haven't.
Mine are going awfully. I promised myself that I wouldn't eat that piece of cake ... while I was eating the cake.
Classic.
I doubt you're doing any better.
Actually, I am.
Is that so?
Mmhm. I promised myself that I would fangirl more than ever this year.
How's it going?
*unamused* Do you really have to ask that?
Good point.
Resolutions are weird.
I agree.
Mmhm. I wonder how the readers are doing with their resolutions.
*climbs on top of the Fourth Wall* HOW ARE YOU DOING, READERS?!
*rubbing his ears* Gee, Pip, there's no need to shout!
WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! MY EARS ARE FILLED WITH HONEY!
Why are his ears--
You don't want to know.
Come down from the wall, Pip!
WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I'M GOING TO COME DOWN FROM THE WALL! *tries to come down but trips, pulling the whole wall down with him* GEE, SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME IN THIS BOOK!
Gah! Pippin! You broke the Fourth Wall again! *looks at the bricks everywhere* Honestly, now I have to fix it again...
Well, you wanted a Pippin, Tarwa. I told you they were hard work.
Um, if you don't mind me asking, is there actually a point to this chapter?
No, not really. I just felt like writing.
That's a first.
Hey! *slaps him*
I thought we were over the slapping thing!
NOPE! *slaps him again*
STAHP!
*throws Gollum at him*
MERRY! EW! *flicks Gollum away*
*throws Tom Bombadil at him*
Tom Bombadil: Hey, dol, merry do--
*throws him in a river*
Savage.
Eh. *shrugs*
*grabs keyboard from Tarwa* STOP WRITING THIS NONSENSE.
*grabs it back* AND WHY SHOULD I?
Can't we all just get along?
NO.
NEVER.
DEEEEEAAAAATTTTHHHHHHHH!
DEEEEEAAAAATTTTHHHHHHHH!
*weakly* Life...
Wait ... we were throwing things at Pippin. Why are we fighting?
I don't know. *glances at Pippin*
GET HIM! *charges at him*
*shrieks and covers his precious hair with his hands*
Tarwa ... why did you write "his precious hair"?
...
...
...it's precious...
o_o
Okaaaayyyyyy, I'm getting out of here! *runs away*
NO MERRY, DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HER!
You're on your own, Pip!
*cautiously looks at Tarwa*
I'm not weird... *eye twitch* ...I promise.
Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. *runs away*
COME BACK, HOBBIT! I WON'T EAT YOU, I SWEAR! *runs after him*
NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES! *jumps in the river*
Tom Bombadil: Hey d--
Shut up.
Hmph! Fine! If you won't come near me, I'll go to Kylo!
...who?
At least HE has cookies!
*a ships descends from the sky*
*hops in ship* LET'S GO TERMINATE SOME TRAITORS, MATT.
*ship flies off*
What the... O_O
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/17983994-288-k356257.jpg)
YOU ARE READING
Only the Craziest - Written by Merry and Pippin
Fanfiction• Finalist of мα∂ιв79'ѕ 'тнє нσввιт/ℓσтя fαиfιcтισи cσмρєтιтισи' • Hello every person in the magical land of Computer! It's us: Merry and Pippin! Ya know, the handsomest, smartest Hobbits to ever live? Especially me, Merry. Ow, ow, okay, stop hittin...