Time is excruciating.

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A/N: OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING. MY APOLOGIES.
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I stayed in bed for days. I slept regularly and found Sam at my bed quite often. He started to bring me books and other forms of entertainment. I was giving up though. Every move I made, made me want to cry in pain. I was only deteriorating emotionally and flat lining physically.

One night while I was alone I cried. I would never get to hunt again if I could ever get out of bed. That's when I heard someone cough. I opened my eyes and very slowly and ever so carefully rolled over. When I could see the outline of who was in my room I took a deep breath and tried desperately to slow my panting.

"Love I hate seeing you like this. Are you feeling any better." It was Crowley. I shook my head.

"Dad I need you to do something. If I have improved none in two weeks I need you to kill me. I can't live like this." I begged. He looked taken a back.

"I don't think I could do that." He whispered. I sighed and looked away.

"Listen. I can't live a life trapped in a bed with the inability to hunt or to move. I can't live in this room. If the Angels can't even do anything how am I supposed to get better. Please just kill me." This time I pleaded as my voice broke and I held back tears. My throat burned and felt like it was swelling.  I looked back at Crowley. He hit shook his head and magicked out.

I woke up the next morning to someone yelling in my ear.

"What the holy fuck are you doing yelling this early?" I grumbled. I opened my eyes to see a full house. Cas, Dean, Sam, Crowley, and Gabe were all in my room now staring at me.

"Why the hell are you asking Crowley to kill you?" Gabe said sassily. I groaned and closed my eyes. I wasn't ready to deal with this.

"Come on. Don't pretend you are tired. You have done nothing but lay there and sleep." Dean said. I snapped my eyes open and glared at him. I very painfully sat up.

"You want to know why I stay here. I can barely move without crying out in pain. Every move. Every breath makes me want to scream. My muscles burn like I am still hung up in that damn warehouse and like I am still being tortured. You wanna know why I sleep. Despite the nightmares of Hell and the thing we face, sleep is painless. I stay here to keep me from killing myself. So yeah I asked to be killed. I want this to end. If you have a better solution that would be great. Right now. I eat via Sam's help and regularly get my bladder emptied thanks to Angels. I want to live." I practically screamed. I panted at the end of my rant and shook like a leaf.

Once again tear stung at my eyes. I looked at the people I loved and saw pity. I threw myself against the bed calling out in pain but not caring anymore. I was officially done with them.

"We are still trying." Gabe whispered. I laughed.

"It doesn't matter. I have given up." I muttered back. I heard a flutter of wings and footsteps as everyone made their way out.

"I will do it." Was said sometime later. I thought I was alone so I jumped slightly and looked to Cas.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"In two weeks. If there is no change I will kill you. If that's what you want." He said. I could see he didn't want to but he would.

"Thank you Cas. Two weeks." I whispered. I was so grateful. He nodded before fluttering out. I closed my eyes finally happy there might be an end to what I was experiencing.

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