It's All In Your Head

>Chapter Fourteen< Isaac (Past)

I remember the day I got my tattoo.

I was sitting in the front seat next to my father, clutching my mother's old jacket against myself. We were driving home from the funeral.

I remember being angry, and sad, and nervous. I missed my mother so much, and I felt like what I was about to do would be a tribute to her.

We stopped at a red light. My father had glanced at me. He had tears falling out of his eyes. He didn't bother to hide them. Any other time, he would have tried to be strong for my sake. I told him that he shouldn't bother with it. I knew him too well.

"I'm not sure your mother would have approved of this." He said slowly, his voice shaking. "But I also want you to remember her. Always. So I'm letting you do this as a tribute to her. Alright? Don't-" His voice broke. He took a deep breath and turned his eyes back to the road. The light turned green.

"I'm not going to take advantage of your grief." I said simply, trying my best to keep my voice steady. My dad nodded. He lifted one hand to wipe the tears off his face and took another deep breath.

"Don't keep the tears back, dad." I whispered, staring at my mother's jacket. I could still smell her perfume on it.

I blinked. I was crying too. Small wet spots on the jacket marked where my tears had fallen.

My father sniffled. He swallowed so hard I could hear it.

We sat in silence for a moment. Neither of us had bothered to turn on the radio. I think, at the time, we had both preferred to be left alone with our thoughts. Our memories.

My dad turned and pulled into the parking lot of the tattoo place. He tapped my shoulder when I didn't stand up.

"I don't want to go in there crying." I said quietly, wiping the tears out of my eyes.

My dad smiled. "Sometimes that's what it takes to prove your a man, Isaac." He told me.

I set my mother's jacket down and took a deep breath.

"Thanks dad."