While Im Gone, Everything Will Be Alright (Jimmy Sullivan)

Never shamed but never free

hi guys!!!! Well I hope you enjoy this next chap!!!

So without further delay!!! Here it is!!!!!

Enjoy!!!!

***Linds's POV***

I smiled as I left Matt's room, even though my heart hurt remembering Jimmy. I had to go do that for him, Matt has been one of my best friends forever, and I cared about him.

I quickly ran down the stairs seeing Tiff dressed and ready. She was wearing a nice black dress with a pair of black flats. Wow, this is totally different! Tiff usually dress like me, in jeans and a t shirt.

"you look pretty, Matt's going to love it" I smiled hugging her to me.

"Thanks, Julia help me out" I chuckled, that's my cousin for you.

As i pulled away, Matt came running down the stairs. His eyes wide as he looked over Tiff. I chuckled to myself, watching him. I haven't seen him this happy in months.

"Have fun you two, I'll see you guys later tonight" I hugged Matt and Tiff and shoved them out the door.

"Wait! Your going to be ok alone?" I raised my eyebrow looking at Tiff.

"Alone?" I had no idea what she was talking about frankly.

"yeah, Julia and Brian left for dinner, Johnny vanished and thinks your going with Zacky to a movie..... Even though Zacky already left."

"yeah, of course I'll be fine. Now go and have some fun for once" I smiled an shut the door, thinking about having the house to myself.

I really didn't like being alone, but I wanted them to go have fun. Instead of worrying about me. They shouldn't have to do that anymore.

I wandered around the house looking for something productive to do. It was kind of boring here alone, it almost makes you want to go look for Jimmy, cause you had this weird feeling he was hiding somewhere.

Quickly pushing that thought away,trying to avoid any unnecessary pain. I walked back upstairs . Matts door was ajar, so I walked in. On the bed was his song book.

I sat down, opening it up, flipping threw the pages. I've heard most of these before. Since they started their album before jimmy died.

When I thought that, pain shot threw my heart, making me gasp.

God I need to stop doing that! I need to move on.... I need to live my life, like Zacky said.

I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to focus on something else. Anyways I had Johnny now, well he never officially asked me to be his, but why else would he be showing me so much affection.

I shook my head, looking back at the book. As I continued to flip, I saw a song that I've never seen before. It read 'So Far Away', I knew instantly it was a song for Jimmy.

"Never feared for anything.

Never shamed but never free.

A light that healed a broken heart with all that it could

Lived a life so endlessly.

Saw beyond what others see.

I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could

Will you stay?

Will you stay away forever?

How do I live without the ones I love?

Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned.

Place and time always on my mind.

I have so much to say but you're so far away." I read the lyrics that Matt didn't cross out. My heart was beating out of my chest, feeling the pain of missing Jimmy.

I knew Matt was hurting just as bad as I was. Matt never shows his emotions though. He writes them done and they come out in his lyrics. That's why several songs they wrote have made me ball my eyes out.

I sat there staring at the lyrics, trying not to cry. I missed Jimmy....

I got up running to my room grabbing my guitar. I ran back and jumped on the bed.

I closed my eyes, letting the music just come to me. My fingers ran up and down the neck of my guitar, feeling for chords that would make this song for Jimmy the best ever.

Jimmy always laughed, when Brian and I'd be in the room doing this together. He said it was creepy, and unnerving. That both of us touch guitars that way.

I smiled and I started playing what came to my mind. Soon enough I had a fairly ok, strum pattern and guitar riff.

I set my guitar down on the bed, as I wrote what I had down on the note book for Matt. I hoped he liked it, even though I'm sure Brian would change most of it.

I placed the notebook down, as I heard the front door open. Who could that be? I mean they just left?

I stayed quiet as I heard two sets of feet coming up the stairs.

"Zacky! Lindsey! Are you home?!" I heard Johnny yell out. I was going to answer him until I heard a girl giggle. So I quickly shoved myself under Matt's bed, hoping they wouldn't find me.

I steadied my breathing, even though my heart had sunk when I heard the girl.

I watched the door open, from under the bed. Johnny had a fairly tall blonde girl plastered to his side. She was beautiful to say the least. Nothing I could ever compare to in my life.

"The coast is clear, lets go have some fun" I watched him slap her ass, which made my heart shatter. Which was something I didn't think it could do anymore.

He shut the door, and I waited till I heard them go to the guest room. I slowly crawled out from under the bed, trying to fight back my tears.

Why was I crying over him..... It's not like we were together or anything. Maybe I had my hopes up, maybe I was stupid for actually believing he loved me.

I snuck out and into my room, grabbing the only sweatshirt of jimmy's and Brian's beanie. I slipped into the sweatshirt, being overwhelmed by jimmy's scent.

I placed the beanie on my head, and I opened the window in my room. Jimmy showed this place to me.

I climbed out and onto the roof, where I could be alone. Where I could escape everything that made me want to die.

I sat down and I looked out at the night sky. There was many nights Jimmy and I would just sit out here together. Not talking, but enjoying each others company.

Im not even going to bother doing anything about this. Johnny makes me happy..... And if I don't make him happy, he can fuck who ever he wants.

Frankly I didn't want to make a big scene over it anyways, because I was probably over exaggerating the connection we had.

I shut my eyes tight as I started hearing a girl moan from the open window, two down from where I was sitting.

I placed my ear buds in my ears, turning up the volume all the way, drowning out everything. I slid the beanie back down, and I laid back looking up into the sky.

"why did you have to leave me..... I loved you so much, it's not fair. Now your to far away for me to get you back" I said as I looked up.

The familiar pain that I have been accustomed to over these last months, crept back up on me. Leaving me withering in pain.

I didn't know weather it was a combination of thinking about Jimmy, or finding out that Johnny didn't really love me. Either way I was hurting so bad.

As I stared into the sky with water eyes.

"why can't you come back for me Jimmy"