Can You Hear Me?

Chapter Eleven:

After we went inside Ethan and I joined Grayson on the couch, no one felt like cooking so we ordered a pizza and put in a movie. A scene came on where a parent was picking one of their children to be their favorite. "Wow that must really suck. To have a parent choose between their kids" says Ethan. "Ash knows how all that goes" says Grayson, just when he said that my eyes grow wide and look at him. The look of shock spread across his face, "I'm so sorry" he mouths. Ethan looks from his brother to me "What's he talking Ash." "It's nothing Eth don't worry about it" I say. "I am going to worry about it Ash! What the hell are you not telling me!" "I don't want to tell you" I yell as I stand up. "And why the hell not! You never want to tell me anything Ash! Why is that!" "Because I'm scared Ethan! I'm trying to keep you out of this so you two won't feel the pain! I'm doing this for your guy's sake!" "If you were doing it for us then you would tell us! You would tell me!" "Oh really so you think I'm lying to you! Did you ever stop and think that maybe I'm trying to keep you from touching the darkness because once you touch it you can never go back! It never goes away! Can't you see that! I'm trying to keep you guys from feeling guilty! It's not too late for you but it is for me!" "Why do you care if we touch the darkness then huh! I wish you would tell me things instead of tell my brother!" And with that Ethan storms upstairs and slams the door shut. I don't even bother looking at Grayson he tries to say something but I just walk out the front door without giving him the time of day. I sit on the step and let the tears roll down my face and hit the concrete.

No one is up when I walk back inside and I don't bother going up stairs so I grab on of the pillows and lay down on the couch. I lay there for a while until my eyes start to droop from tiredness. I feel horrible for fighting with Ethan, I hate fighting I always have. It's about 1am when I hear footsteps coming down the stairs but I'm too tired to care. Then I feel two arms wrap around me and lift me from the couch. I'm being carried bridal style has we go upstairs, I open my eyes just barley to see who was holding me. Ethan is taking me to his room, "Damn Ash you're freezing." He wasn't kidding I was really cold but I was just too tired. I close my eyes again just as he looks at me.

He gently lays me down on the bed and puts the blankets on top of me. Then I feel the bed sink next to me as I feel Ethan slide in and lay next to me. He pulls me into his body cradling me trying to get me warm. I can feel his toned abs as he breaths, I can hear his heart beating in his chest and it makes me feel better. Ethan then places a kiss on my forehead; his lips feel so warm against my cold skin. He then moves down to my lips he just gives me a peck then pulls me close as he wraps one arm around my waist and the other across my back then he lays his head down on the pillow. Ethan moves his head so that our foreheads are touching and then he falls back asleep.

I wake in bed alone...Ethan is nowhere to be found. I look out the window and the sky is still a really dark shade of blue. I roll on too my side and see a note on the pillow:

"Didn't want to wake you, left for school already"

                                                            -Ethan

He must still be mad about last night; I just sigh and get out of bed to get ready. I grab my skinny jeans, a nice top, my black vans and one of Ethan's sweatshirts and head for my car. The drive there was very nerve racking, my body started to shake the closer I got. I pull into the parking space and just sit to try and to compose myself. "Alright time to bottle up the fear. Be scared on the inside" I say to myself as I get out of my car and walk towards the doors of hell.